Gifts and Grievances (like Turkey and trauma but with presents!)

Christmas is over. Whew. We just returned from 8 days in Florida. That might sound fabulous (and in reality, it wasn’t all bad), but we stayed at my in-laws house…a two bedroom home that is not baby-proofed in any form or fashion. So, I spent 8 days sleeping on a FUTON in the “lanai” (which by the way, has no curtains on the windows) and chasing my daughter around making sure she wasn’t eating dishwashing soap or sticking her fingers in sockets. (And their internet connection is DIAL-UP! EEK!)

Otherwise, it was a nice time. My favorite sister-in-law was there, so we drank lots of wine and read plenty of trashy magazines. I wasn’t forced to make my own gifts this year. And we ate really decadent meals all week long (I was actually SICK of food and sweets by the time I got home), so I guess all in all it was a pretty good holiday.

Oh, I almost forgot the best part (in regards to blogging!)…my in-laws live in a retirement community and all I can say is that it is a site to behold. So stay tuned for my YARD TCHOTCHKE PARADE…coming in the next day or two. Them old people love cheesy lawn decor.

Happy New Year!

Merry (belated) Christmas, Blog Friends

A few holiday gifts for some of my favorite blog friends…

Compulsive Writer: A place for your pen! (Although, this would look awesome next to my donkey.)

No Cool Story: From the movie A Christmas Story…I thought it would look good in your yellow living room.

Elastic: I think your kiddos would get a kick out of this…and it’s very Texas-y. I’ll buy you two since they’re on sale.

And finally, the best gift ever for Omar….

Things I do not want for Christmas

There are only a few shopping days left, so here are some things I do not want for Christmas.

Not that there is anything wrong with this…I would just totally suck at a game about gay culture.

Bacon air freshener. Yum. And look, they are on sale!

Soap in the shape of turds would probably cure my OCD when it comes to handwashing.

I also do not want anything I have to make myself. When I first started dating my husband, his mother decided to get me a lamp with a stained-glass shade. She took me to pick out the base and the colored glass…which was a lot of fun… but then she showed me how to cut and shape the pieces (what? why?). She thought I would enjoy doing it myself. UGH.

So I spent almost EIGHT hours in a garage in Florida, grinding glass and soldering the pieces together, while everyone else was at the pool or on the golf course. It was fabulous.

Christmas in New York City

My friend KB and I just returned home from a fabulous girls’ weekend in New York City. I have some good stories to share, but no time tonight. (I must pack for my next trip…we are leaving tomorrow for 7 days in Florida with the in-laws.)

But, here are some photos from NYC to put you in the holiday spirit.

The tree in Rockefeller Plaza

The M&Ms guy in Times Square (not very Christmasy, but what are the holidays without chocolate, right?)

Christmas ornaments in a fountain

Radio City Music Hall

Big-ass Nutcrackers!

And a girl’s wet dream…a Cartier box the size of a car!

I am the Queen of Grammar

Read it and weep. This makes me very happy…now I won’t feel so bad when I correct people. Because I am the Queen of Grammar. It’s my job.

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know “no” from “know.” Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

If it makes you feel better, I only got an 80% on the “do you deserve your high school diploma?” quiz. Whoops.

What’s in a pill?

The setup: My husband had surgery on his hand last Friday and has been taking pain medicine periodically. This was our conversation last night.

Hubby: Good thing I didn’t need any pain meds today, there were only 3 left and I just took 2 so I can get some sleep.

Me: Only 3 left? There were 6 in the bottle this morning.

Hubby: Well there was only 3 in there.

Me: Are you sure? If you didn’t take any, where would they have gone?

Hubby: Yes, I am sure, Rhonda. (disgusted tone)

Me: Where was the bottle of pills?

Hubby: In the drawer with all the vitamins.

Me: Um, no. Your pills are up in the cabinet by the refrigerator. You just took 2 prenatal vitamins.

Hubby: They were in the same kind of bottle! What’s in those vitamins? (panic)

Me: First of all, all medicine from the pharmacy comes in those bottles. Second, they are just VITAMINS for heaven’s sake. They aren’t baby making pills. (laughing)

Cut to this morning…

Me: How’s your hand feeling?

Hubby: It’s okay.

Me: Well, if it starts to hurt again, you are welcome to take the last of my prenatal vitamins. (laughing)

Hubby: Very funny.

Me: I thought so.

My husband very rarely has moments like this, and in his defense, my prenatal vitamins DO look almost exactly like Vicodin. Too bad they don’t have the same effect…pregnancy would have been much more fun!

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Although Oprah has been on my nerves lately, not that long ago she had a show about doing things to make yourself proud. She suggested making a list every day, but since I don’t do too many earth-shattering things, there would be a lot of blank pages in that journal and it wouldn’t make me proud to waste paper.

But it is an honorable idea, so every once in a while I stop and make sure I am actually doing stuff to make me feel proud. Here’s my most recent list. Try not to be too overwhelmed by my goodness.

– I have “rescued” three dogs in the past month. They were just neighborhood dogs who escaped somehow, but I did pick them all up and keep them in my backyard until their owners came home. There was Pita (a cute little Dachshund), Tank (a Schnauzer with a very girly haircut) and Max (a German Shorthaired Pointer who JUMPS fences, even escaping from my backyard…clever dog).

– I headed up the MOMs Club fundraising committee this year (despite not really “digging” MOMs Club very much) and helped to gather donations and toys for kids in a foster home community. Here’s a picture of about half the stuff we gathered.

– I reported a litterbug. Cause you all know the deal…DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS! This guy had trash flying out of his truck bed all the way down the highway. But don’t worry, all they do is send him a letter and a trash bag.

– I have been smiling brightly and looking every person I come across in the eye since December 1st. I am calling it Project Happy Holidays (Whether You Like it or Not) 2006. I’ll tell you all more about it later.

So what have you done to make you feel proud?

Start Spreading the News…

I am leaving in 7 days. That’s right…look out New York City!

I haven’t been in 6 or 7 years, so I am looking for suggestions. My friend KB and I will only be there for a weekend, but we are staying at the Waldorf-Astoria (woohoo) and are game for just about anything. (But preferably things that have to do with food, shopping or culture.)

It’s not often that I am hubby AND child-free, so I want to pack this trip with lots of things that can’t be done with a small child in-tow (such as eating at a bar or using a public restroom).

Speaking of…check this out. (I promise to go and take a photo of this!)

Please post any ideas you might have!