“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

I took a quick trip to San Antonio over the weekend, and because I was all alone in the car, I had plenty of time to notice all the weird crap on that stretch of I-10. (Texas does not disappoint in the “WTF?” department!)

WTF is this? Tacky lawn art meets “Texas-sized” crap? I don’t think I have ever seen something this gaudy on the side of the freeway. Or really anywhere, for that matter.

How would you like to work inside an ice chest all day? How many six packs do you think this holds?

This sign still confuses me. WTF does that mean? Aren’t lawyers suing lawyers every day?

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Hung (on HBO)

I was sick in bed for most of the weekend and was able to watch the entire first season on Sunday. It’s definitely NC-17, but the characters are interesting and the story line is crazy, but possible, which makes it even more entertaining.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

Clearly this person does not watch TV. Or listen to the radio. Or read newspapers and magazines. I’m pretty sure this car was a prime candidate for the Cash for Clunkers program … it was probably even featured in the paperwork.

String to hold down the hood? Duct tape holding the side mirror on? Is there a mouse under the hood or do they just pedal this thing like Fred Flintstone? WTF? That “H” isn’t for Honda, it’s for hoopty!

The last two weeks … a pictorial

Lake trips, vandalism, drinking … there’s been a little of everything. Except blogging. Whoops.

Anabella and I went on a mommy-daughter trip to my friend Jeanne’s lake house. (It was her first experience on a boat, and being my daughter, she went right for the driver’s seat.)

The first thing she said was “that’s a LOT of water, mommy!” I could never coax her into the water, so we now own another baby pool. At least this one has palm trees.

I received a lot of feedback on my last “WTF? Wednesday.” Stasa even went so far as to try a “Chelada” (which they are apparently calling Michelada in San Antonio), and she gives it rave reviews. So I guess I will try one soon.

I also took a little time out to vandalize another coworker’s cube. He moved out, so I don’t feel too bad. And now that he is in another building, they probably took away his access to this floor, meaning no retaliation. That’s always good.

And finally, we had Scarlett’s birthday party yesterday. Pizza, cake, football, Bloody Mary’s and good friends … Scarlett throws a kick-ass party!

Happy Birthday, Scarlett!

Dear Scarlett:

You’re two today! Your babyhood has gone by in a flash, so I took the day off to celebrate with just YOU. At lunch, you were treated like a total rock star at Luby’s. Not only did they bring you a crown and a bunch of balloons, but you also had free jello and a delicious red velvet cup cake (I promise, I only had one or two small bites!). Who knew you were going to love jello so much? And of course you were completely excited to sit in a chair.

Then we went to the Children’s Museum, where you played non-stop and with no restrictions. From setting up a little tea party to playing with the world’s largest Lite-Bright, you had a blast doing what YOU wanted to do for a change.

You just recently started learning more words and how to count. It’s incredibly cute how you call everyone “daddy” if you don’t know their name. And I love how you say “lello” instead of “yellow,” “BobBob” instead of “SpongeBob” and “oh no!” for just about everything that you want us to notice.

You are completely fascinated with shoes and drinking out of big-girl glasses, but you are still a cute little baby who loves bubble baths and being rocked to sleep. It’s even endearing that you are a total daddy’s girl, because you are complete joy all day, every day … and probably the most likeable person in our family.

Happy birthday, Baby Mo! I love you more than words can say.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

This week WTF Wednesday revolves entirely around food. Wasn’t planned that way, but I am sure it has something to do with eating my feelings. Whatever.

So, WTF is this? Who drinks this? Is this a hangover cure or does someone truly enjoy beer and tomato juice? I need to know.

I took my friend Tracie some Taco Bell last week (she just had twins and isn’t getting out much … you know you are f*cked when Taco Bell is some sort of rare treat), and I noticed the packages have weird messages on them like “I collect straws” and “Will you marry me?” Tracie says they’ve been like that for years, but I guess that’s how long it’s been since my last trip to Taco Hell. Then the communicator in me got very annoyed … WTF is the purpose of this? It doesn’t make me laugh or want to buy more crappy tacos.

Finally, these immediately got my attention at the grocery store. I’m not sure what branding mini-cucumbers does for High School Musical (and it probably doesn’t help cucumbers much either) and quite frankly, it seems a little dirty to me.

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving Cheladas with snarky hot sauce and cucumber swizzle sticks.