Hope you all like kindergarten stories, because I feel like I am going to have a lot of them.
Last night when I got home, Dan tells me there is a note for me in Anabella’s backpack. As I pulled out her folder and read the following, she ran over, grabbed my leg and started crying hysterically.
The Invisible Man cut her shoelace. Of course, I started to laugh, but she was really upset. I’m not sure if it was a “note to your mom” comment or if she just thought I was going to be really pissed that she cut the shoelace on her new “Twinkle Toes” — but somehow I wound up feeling like a horse’s ass.
So as you can see from today’s entry, we have a teacher conference at 3:30. Guess I can inquire as to how the Invisible Man (that bastard!) was dealt with and how we can save my child from all that anxiety next time.
The other child
I don’t want Scarlett to look back at this blog in 10 years and think it was all about Anabella. This picture was taken last week — with her black eye (she fell off my bed) and her pig tails (she almost has enough hair). She demanded that I “take a picture of my tongue” – so here it is.
Saw this display while shopping for school clothes.
Really, Macy’s? Someone surely “got” the inside joke, right? It doesn’t bother me on a moral level or anything — I just expect to see “kitty” panties at a different kind of store. Anabella was the one who pointed them out, because she thought it was really funny. Thank goodness she didn’t ask for a pair.
My mom accidentally bought her some sweatpants last year that had a cat’s face on the butt. Anabella tried to wear them backwards so many times that I finally had to toss the damn things. These are the things you just aren’t prepared for by any parenting books.
It’s official … my first born is a big girl. Let’s take a moment.
I actually took several today. Thinking about her as a baby, thinking about her as a toddler, thinking about her being all alone in a BIG school, not knowing anyone. AHHHHH!
Of course, she was ecstatic. Loved putting on new clothes and shoes. Totally ready for action.
She wasn’t even upset when they had her doing work as soon as she sat down. (While in my head it was “geesh! can’t we just come in and have some fun on the first day?!”)
You can safely conclude that Anabella was great. Mommy was a mess.
To make a long day even longer, Dan picked her up from school, and left his cell at home. So while I am calling and texting, trying to get an update, they are at McDonald’s, then eating ice cream, then playing in the rain. (WTF, DAN?!)
I finally get the scoop at dinner time. She really likes school. They colored and used their scissors. She knows her teacher’s name, but she can’t remember any of her friends’ names. They played on the playground. There was some trauma over a glue stick that apparently might be my fault. She had fun in the cafeteria and she likes the water fountains. (Don’t you love how random kids can be?)
But the most interesting tidbit came as I was tucking her in.
Anabella: Are we in jail?
Me: No, we are at home.
Anabella: But are some people in jail?
Me: Yes, some people are in jail.
Anabella: Because they are bad.
Me: Yes. Where did you hear about jail?
Anabella: At school.
And so it begins.
Here it is 2 a.m. and I’m awake. I’ve been feeling slightly off – not quite crazy, but definitely off my game – for a few days now. Not sure if it’s just the medicine I’m taking (Prednisone for my Crohn’s … we have a love/hate relationship) or some combo of the meds with the general craziness in my life at the moment (work is beyond busy, Anabella is starting kindergarten on Monday, which has my emotions all over the place, etc. etc.), but I’m just not myself.
Tomorrow I am meeting several of my fabulous girlfriends for a movie (Eat Pray Love) and brunch, so hopefully that will snap me back into my normal frame of mind. Sometimes a little escape is all it takes, right?
Despite my weird mood, the girls have been highly entertaining this weekend. Anabella has a new-found love of knock-knock jokes. She doesn’t always deliver the punch line correctly, but she is perfecting her act. I’m sure it will make her very popular in kindergarten.
And Scarlett is suddenly a singing machine. She puts her own spin on things by singing in a throaty, angry tone. She’s going through her grunge period. Picture Kurt Cobain singing Wheels on the Bus. That’s Scarlett.
WTF is up with the new Sun Chips packaging? If you haven’t bought one yet, you have been warned – this bag of chips is the loudest thing you will ever come across.
Last night, Dan pulled them out of the pantry and the sole act of grabbing the bag woke me up in the master bedroom (which is a long way from the kitchen). Even just putting the bag in the shopping cart was an experience. People actually turned to look and see what I had in my hand.
I am all for recycling – we recycle as much as we can – and the idea of a compostible bag is great, but this bag makes me want to say “too bad environment, I want the old crappy, wasteful bag back!” So this morning I dumped the remainder of the chips in a Ziploc and sent the bag from hell on its merry way to compost heaven.
I encourage you to at least touch one of these bags next time you are at the store. It has a special loudness to it that doesn’t compare to anything I’ve can come up with. Let’s just say it’s more disturbing than 1,000 people wading up a piece of aluminum foil at the same time. Or 20 people running their fingernails down a chalk board. It’s more irritating than those Vuvuzelas. You get the point.
Back in 2005 when I had Anabella, I joined a local “moms” club to make some friends (meaning find some people who were going nutso like I was). When the group found out I was a communications consultant, I was immediately roped into taking over the club’s newsletter. When they sent me the WORD file, the whole thing was done in Comic Sans. From that point forward, I developed a serious aversion to the font. The sign above could have been written by me. It wasn’t, but I totally get it.
I also recently came across this post about Comic Sans on McSweeny’s. I almost peed myself. Read it.
I try not to talk about work or work-related things here, just cause that’s mostly boring if you don’t work with me, but today I can’t help myself. There is a person at my office that truly makes me slap my forehead and think “WTF? WTF? WTF?” at least once every few weeks.
She seems like she has redeeming qualities, in that she’s not like a total evil doer in general (I don’t expect she would boil your bunny, but then again, who knows!), but at the office, she is truly a nightmare. She’s self-serving, manipulative, sneaky — and today, just plain disrespectful to some wonderful, hard-working people who in no way deserved it. I enjoy where I work, the people I work with, and I love the things I do, and yet when this woman becomes involved, she sucks the joy out of everything.
WTF is up with people like this? So worried about themselves and their job security that they will make everyone else miserable just to survive? I mean really, aren’t things hard enough in life as it is?
So I beat the crap out of our Slam Man tonight, and am feeling a little better. And yet, I still hope she is having nightmares this evening. Or maybe even has an intestinal disorder. Or a big zit for tomorrow.
Anabella starts kindergarten in just two weeks! I’m excited for her (she talks about “big girl” school every day), but I’m also kind of reeling from just how fast the last five years have gone. Didn’t I just give birth to her?? People with older children always tell me that childhood goes by in the blink of an eye, and now I am starting to believe them.
My mother came over this weekend and took Anabella shopping for school clothes. My grandmother used to take me school shopping every year, and it was something we both really looked forward to. Even as she got older, and her Parkinson’s disease kept her from walking, my grandfather and I would load her into her wheelchair and head out into the craziness of the mall. She loved it.
So seeing my mom carry on that tradition with Anabella was incredibly touching. Unfortunately everything she wears has to be tan, black or blue bottoms and solid color tops, (WTF is up with the crazy dress codes?!) but she still had fun trying things on — and the highlight was the cool Keds with charms and heart shoe strings, and the new “Toy Story” panties. We really like Jessie around here. lol
We also went to lunch and had pedicures together. Mom and Anabella both got crazy bright colors and flowers painted on their big toes.
Their bond is amazing … it was one of those weekends when you really appreciate family.
Parental Edition: Stop growing up so fast!
The girls were taking a bath a few days ago and Anabella announces to me that Scarlett has a boyfriend. Scarlett, who isn’t even 3 years old yet, has a boyfriend. Ummm, ok.
Anabella: Scarlett’s boyfriend is named Ethan.
Me: Really? Isn’t Scarlett a little young for a boyfriend.
Anabella: No, he is her boyfriend. And he really likes vegetables.
Me: (in my head) WTF? Am I really talking boyfriends with a 5 and a 2 year old??!?!
And the subject was dropped.
Until last night, when Scarlett grabs our home phone and brings it to me. “I want to call Ethan.”
WTF? I know kids grow up fast these days and all that crap, but who is teaching my TWO YEAR OLD that she has a boyfriend? I mean, it’s super cute when Scarlett starts talking about Ethan as soon as we get close to school — BUT it makes me feel like I now have a VERY VERY VERY long road ahead of me with two girls.
How much boy drama am I in for over the next 15 years or so??