Finally. My new job description presents itself. Thank you, PetsMart.
That’s right. I’m a “Stool Manager.” Don’t be sad for me. I run a department of 6, not including myself.
- There’s the two cats, who produce three litter boxes of stool per week.
- Next are the two dogs, who produce at least a Target bag full of stool once a week. And as a bonus, Winston the Bulldog works overtime, bringing me extra stool in the form of dingle berries at least once a day. (Note to bloggy friends: Do not buy a dog that has an a**hole that points up. You will be wiping his butt until the day he dies.)
- Finally, we have the two little girls. One who produces adult-like poo and likes to spread it around, literally. And the smaller one, who kindly keeps it in her diaper, but produces a stool that is slightly less appealing to the senses…if that’s really even possible.
And to think, just 3 years ago I was just a measly self-employed communications consultant who had the world in her hand. Look at me now people!