I heart Robert Irvine

Met Robert Irvine Wednesday night in Chicago. I was already a fan, but now I’m a super fan. He was really personable and funny … gave my colleague a little forehead slap when he found out she is a Vanilla Ice fan (we met him too). He’s also super buff and smells really yummy.

And he was totally down with the selfie.


Rhonda, World Traveler

Okay, not really, but life has been fun lately. Last week I was in NYC for a conference on creating content for social media. I not only got to stay in the city for three days, but I also got to participate in the NASDAQ closing bell ceremony for a second time. Can you pick me out of this photo?

The highlights were meeting and having a conversation with David Pogue at a networking event. I also was able to go to Mesa (a Bobby Flay restaurant) and enjoy an incredible meal. All I have to say is Shrimp and Garlic Tamale. If you get the chance, you won’t regret it. I also witnessed first hand the trainwreck that is Charlie Sheen’s tour of stupidity. My hotel was across the street from Radio City Music Hall, and all of the yahoos who wanted to catch a glimpse of him after the show were camped out in the street. I walked down to the drug store and stopped to watch people coming out of the show being interviewed on the local news …. surprisingly they felt they had wasted their $500/ticket. Duh. $20 would have been a waste. So it was a great trip, except for all of the mommy guilt, which I tried to sqaush with gifts from the Hello Kitty store and Toys R Us.

And today, I am headed for New Orleans for Mom 2.0!

Mom 2.0 Summit - April 14-16

Three days in New Orleans, hanging out and getting inspired with 450 fellow bloggers. How fun is that? I will also be live blogging for Mom 2.0, so look for my posts on their website here.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Hope you are all having a great day! Dan doesn’t like Valentine’s Day, so we don’t really celebrate … although I did put together a bag of goodies for the girls … and I made my coworkers participate in a Secret Valentine exchange. (I got a box of fudge!)

On the way into work this morning, the local radio station was asking an interesting question. Basically, who is the last person you would want for a Valentine? The answers included Tom Cruise, Kanye West, Carrot Top, etc. (Carrot Top — ha! Can you imagine? Yikes.)

So tell me in the comments who your NIGHTMARE Valentine would be. I’ll start. Rush Limbaugh. Oh, or Glenn Beck. Eeek.

All my crushes

Several of my celebrity crushes were mingling on TV last week. First, Jon Stewart was on David Letterman (I have lots of love for both of them) – and they were totally hysterical together, as I would have guessed. (Side note: Poor Dan tried to get some “quality” time with me during the interview and I was all like “But JON STEWART is on DAVID LETTERMAN – I have to watch this.”) Later in the week, Justin Timberlake was on Jon Stewart. Another double dip of happiness for me.

Then I started thinking, I have really weird taste. I mean put those three up next to each other and it’s definitely a mixed bag. Especially when you add in some of my others, like Tom Colicchio and Dwayne Johnson.

Who do you all crush on?

Weekend Disturbia

It was a wonderful weekend…lots of QT with the girls, a 90-minute massage, and tailgating with the hubby at the Texans game. It was perfect, except for two of the most disturbing incidents in my recent life.

Saturday morning, we wake up to Scarlett making silly sounds through the baby monitor.

Hubby: Good morning. I had a really nice dream about you last night.

Me: Really? Well I dreamed that I was having sex with Donald Trump. (I have no filter first thing in the morning.)

Hubby: WHY?

Me: I don’t know! But if it makes you feel any better, he had a really small penis.

Hubby: I could have guessed that.

Of course I spent the rest of the day trying to decipher my dream. I’m sure it goes without saying that I do not find him attractive. I hadn’t been talking about him or seen him on TV recently. So WTF?

Fast-forward to Sunday.

It was a gorgeous day…sunny, cool and slightly windy. We are out in the parking lot at Reliant Stadium tailgating before the game, and suddenly I have to go…like NOW. So I did what I never do…I used the port-o-potty.

I was taking care of my business when I felt something splash back UP onto my butt cheek. AHHHHH! NO! Not blue poo water on my butt cheek!! I had come armed with hand sanitizer and paper towels, but no amount of sanitizer on my cheek made it feel clean. In fact, I have never left more dirty. Ugh.

It was all I could think about for the next 3 hours. The hubby tried to calm me down, but all I could think about was that spot on my butt cheek and God only knows WHO’S poo water on it.

As soon as we got home, I stripped off my clothes and washed them in boiling hot water. Then I went straight to the shower where I washed that spot for about half an hour.

I can still feel the poo water on that cheek…I’ll never recover.

And the daddy is…

I was watching an Oprah show from last week and she mentioned that after Anna Nicole Smith’s death, 50% of news coverage was about her. FIFTY PERCENT. (for about 3 days anyway) Can you believe that? I mean, I know we all believe it, but what it says about us is what I have a hard time believing.

Ok, that being said…they announced that Larry Birkhead is the father today. THANK GOODNESS! If it had turned out to be Zsa Zsa Gabor’s crazy husband, I might have flown to the Bahamas and kidnapped that poor child myself. At least she might have a half-way normal life now…as long as Larry can keep that crazy grandmother far, far away.

Oh Happy Saturday

I was exceptionally happy today and here is why…

1. ) Anna Nicole Smith is finally buried. I know it won’t be the end of all the media craziness, but it’s nice that she has finally had a funeral. Who knows what really went on between her and her mother, but personally I find her mom to be selfish and kind of crazy. If you buy yourself a grave plot, it’s pretty clear that is where you want to be buried. And what kind of mother would leave her child in a morgue for three weeks while she fights to bury Anna Nicole someplace she didn’t even want to live? I love Texas, but Mexia is a shit hole, and I certainly wouldn’t want to be buried there. Heck, I would take the Bahamas as my final resting place over Texas any day of the week.

2.) My self-cleaning oven…what an incredible invention! I guess it gets as hot as a crematorium in that thing, because it was covered in goo and crusted stuff….then voila! Just a few ashy stains remained, which I wiped off with a paper towel, and it looked brand new. I am in total amazement. Oh how happy it makes me when I don’t have to clean something myself.

3.) Spring in Texas. Today was frickin‘ gorgeous! A nice wind, clear skies and 70 degrees. I sat outside and watched the ducks on the lake, read a book, and got a little sun. We only have about 10 days a year when you can actually sit outside for more than 15 minutes, so it was a day to be treasured.

Clearly, I am very easy to please.

Our World Has Gone Crazy Week

Today is the first of a week-long series in which I intend to prove that our world has gone absolutely crazy.

Exhibit 1 – Anna Nicole Smith
As most of you know, I found myself deathly ill for almost a week…and (un)luckily for me, that time spent in bed coincided with Anna Nicole Smith’s tragic death. Therefore, I was treated to non-stop coverage of her life, death, lovers, habits, etc. The one thing that really stood out to me was that news channels don’t seem to care about facts anymore. They will let any nutjob (like Bobby Trendy) get on TV and say whatever they want, as if it was fact.

One guy (on Redeye) even thought it would be funny to claim that a dolphin could be the baby’s father. WTF? It was really kind of heartbreaking that people were practically making fun of her and the woman hadn’t even been dead for even a week. I understand that she had problems. It’s clear that she was a misguided soul. But she was still a human being. Anna Nicole lost a child, which I am sure is pain beyond imagination, and now she has left behind a little baby. A baby who will never know her mother, and whose future is totally up in the air. Does no one else find that to be sad?

Journalism is in a really pitiful state. “The Soup” on E! was more respectful than all the news stations combined. That is pathetic! I find myself being oh-so-very grateful that I did not pursue my dreams of being a newspaper or TV reporter.

So to conclude, news stations reporting opinions as facts and giving credibility to anyone who claims to know something…the first reason why I think our world has lost its collective mind.

Troy Aikman Rules

I received several comments about meeting Troy Aikman, so I decided to dig out the photo and force you all to relive that glorious day with me.

This was taken in August of 1996 at Cowboys training camp in Austin, Texas. Thousands of people were there that day watching practice. As the day was wrapping up, a guy walks up to me in the bleachers and says “Would you like to meet Troy Aikman?” I thought he was joking, but I said “OF COURSE!” and he handed me a little ticket. (Come to find out, they randomly picked 50 people a day to meet him.) So, the guy tells me to be over by the fence in 10 minutes and walks off. I then go into full panic mode…I had been sitting out in the blistering heat all day…I probably looked and smelled like crap, and this is when I am suppposed to meet the man of my dreams?

Despite the 110-degree temperature, and the fact that I am no athlete, I sprinted to my car, took my hair out of the pony tail, put on makeup, changed shirts, and sprinted back…all within my 10 minutes.

Things to notice: 1.) I am not sweating. Apparently adrenaline is quite powerful. 2.) I am holding my heart…it was beating so fast I thought I was going to die…pretty close to how I felt when I saw that big ass spider in my garage 3.) This picture is completely out of focus. That is because my friend Kelly (she is Ms. Popular Butt in the linked post), who scored a ticket after I raced off to the car, was shaking so bad she couldn’t take the photo. Her picture with Troy looks very similar! 🙂

The funniest thing about this meeting was that I could not make myself talk. Nothing. I know, totally crazy and almost unbelievable. He was all Mr. Small Talk….”it sure is hot”…”glad you came out today”…”are you from Austin?” I don’t think I answered anything with more than one word…”yep”…”thanks”…”no.” Idiot.

So that was first meeting with Mr. Troy Aikman. I met him once again, about 2 years later, and had a similar experience (where I turned into a total moron). Guess it wasn’t meant to be. Although, he did marry a girl named Rhonda….