Bee Gees, fuzzy boots and Pabst Blue Ribbon

After happy-hour cocktails to celebrate my friend Kathy’s birthday on Saturday night, the group decided to continue the party down the street at the House of Blues. Little did we know that we would find a treasure … a band that would play excellent music AND make us laugh until we cried. (In fact, we all stood around in disbelief for a good five minutes with a “is this for real?” look on our faces.)

I give you Tragedy, a heavy metal, Bee Gees tribute band.

Yes, you heard me correctly. Think heavy metal sound, disco lyrics, spandex, glitter and some crazy showmanship. (If I had known, I would have brought a real camera, but the iPhone didn’t do too bad.) They rocked all the classic Bee Gees stuff, but the pièce de résistance was their version of the Barbra Streisand tune “I am a woman in love.” (I almost peed myself.)

If you ever get the opportunity, you have to go see these guys. The music was great (if you enjoy hard rock and the Bee Gees) and watching men dance around in spandex jumpsuits is surprisingly entertaining.

Yes, that is a slightly hefty guy wearing silver spandex shorts, fuzzy pink boots and hot-pink, elbow-length gloves. This photo really doesn’t do his beer belly justice.

P.S. There was also an AC/DC tribute band that sounded exactly like the original (and they definitely looked the part). They were excellent, but unless you are wearing fuzzy boots and spandex shorts, you don’t get an entire blog post.

P.P.S. Dan thought is was hysterical that HOB serves Pabst Blue Ribbon. Apparently, it brought back some high-school memories for him, so he bought a bucket of them and made us all drink one. Yuk.

The week in review…as seen by my iPhone

After discovering that Voles might not be as bad as Omar makes them out to be (Look! This one even has musical talent.)…

And getting my ass kicked by my two year old while her daddy was out of town the week of Thanksgiving (Yes, this is the extreme I had to go to to keep her in her room one night. She outwitted me by discovering our handles go “up” too!)…

I decided to just spent lots of quality time with my “foxy” baby this past week. (Isn’t she cute…and the sweet little outfit is courtesy of “Aunt” Laura. Thanks, LC!)

I also made a few trips to our new HEB…the current Mecca of my universe. And I totally adore them for having “child” parking. Finally, a perk! (Besides the whole joy of parenting thing, of course.)

Then, I snuck out of the house one night (with a bottle of wine) to meet my friend Tracie for pedicures. I am so brain dead that I wore closed-toe shoes…which means I was forced to wear these lovely wood-grain foam flop things out in public. And not just “out in public” like to my car…we went to a restaurant afterwards and I wore these inside. How daring and carefree is that?

Next, a WTF taken on the sly at the bank on Friday. Can you see the dashboard? It’s held together with duct tape. I am no mechanic, but I am pretty sure that if you have to use duct tape to keep your dashboard/steering wheel attached to your car, you might want to consider buying a new one.

And finally, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend Kara who turned the big 3-0 on Friday. We celebrated in true “dirty thirties” fashion. (You should see the photos from the END of the evening!)

New product for men

I was keeping my mind stimulated the other night by reading the grocery receipt, when I stumbled upon a very strange purchase.

Could it be some new gel/foam/lubricant/happy pill that will keep my husband’s Mr. How Do You Do “preserved” while we endure the doctor mandated sexual hiatus for the remaining 3 weeks?? I rummaged through the cabinets trying to figure out what he bought for his penis, when I finally came across the DICKINSON’S Strawberry Preserves in the pantry (notice that just three items down, the Dickinson’s Pumpkin Butter is abbreviated quite differently).

So for my next job, I want to be the person who decides what abbreviations go on the receipts at the grocery store. (The current guy seems like he might be like Brad Pitt in Fight Club…getting a kick from sneaking in one frame of porn into the kid movies.) Of course, I would be less sexual/pornographic and more humorous/sarcastic. Kind of like when Omar bought a “boy toy” at Burger King!

Tchotchke Parade – Part 2

More crap for your enjoyment!

This first one is my favorite. It’s not often that you see a duck, a cherub, a sailor, the Virgin Mary, and Uncle Sam hanging out together.

And finally…

this is where their house died from embarrassment!

I spent an hour driving around on a golfcart to take all these photos. Not one person stuck their head out to ask why I was photographing their front yard. Go figure.

So, I hope you found the parade of Tchotchkes as entertaining as I did. I will be back to normal blogging tomorrow. I might even make a few New Year’s resolutions. No better way to start off the new year than with high expectations and immediate failure.

Happy New Year!

As promised, my first post of 2007 is a fabulous Tchotchke Parade (Part 1)…straight from Ft. Myers, Florida. (It’s like the Island of Misfit Toys, but with ugly lawn decor.)


Part 2 coming tomorrow. I hope the anticipation doesn’t kill you.

Merry (belated) Christmas, Blog Friends

A few holiday gifts for some of my favorite blog friends…

Compulsive Writer: A place for your pen! (Although, this would look awesome next to my donkey.)

No Cool Story: From the movie A Christmas Story…I thought it would look good in your yellow living room.

Elastic: I think your kiddos would get a kick out of this…and it’s very Texas-y. I’ll buy you two since they’re on sale.

And finally, the best gift ever for Omar….

Things I do not want for Christmas

There are only a few shopping days left, so here are some things I do not want for Christmas.

Not that there is anything wrong with this…I would just totally suck at a game about gay culture.

Bacon air freshener. Yum. And look, they are on sale!

Soap in the shape of turds would probably cure my OCD when it comes to handwashing.

I also do not want anything I have to make myself. When I first started dating my husband, his mother decided to get me a lamp with a stained-glass shade. She took me to pick out the base and the colored glass…which was a lot of fun… but then she showed me how to cut and shape the pieces (what? why?). She thought I would enjoy doing it myself. UGH.

So I spent almost EIGHT hours in a garage in Florida, grinding glass and soldering the pieces together, while everyone else was at the pool or on the golf course. It was fabulous.

Elmo hits bottom

A few months back, my friends Kristy and Anne came over for a girls night. The pomegranate martinis were flowing, and sweet little “Knows Your Name Elmo” looked a little stressed. So, we offered him a cocktail. I know, he’s underage, but whatever…he wasn’t driving and it seemed pretty harmless. Well, you can clearly see that Elmo can not hold his liquor. He didn’t even climb off the table until noon the next day.

I never intended to publish these photos, but we might be responsible for what is apparently Elmo’s fast decline into substance abuse.