That’s not fooling anybody

In February, I bought Dan a Meyer Lemon tree for his birthday. He loves lemons, and I’ve discussed before, he is really hard to buy for, so it was the perfect gift. He has been babying it ever since and moved it from the pot to the yard earlier this summer.

lemon tree

It’s doing well and has plenty of fruit growing, but we noticed that the black birds were pecking at the lemons. Dan said he could cure the problem, and being that he was raised on a farm, I figured he had it under control.

Silly me. You would think I would have learned by now.  This is Dan’s resolution to the problem.


An owl. Sitting in the pool chair … getting some rays.

I’m sure the black birds are terrified.



Dan’s dad passed away on Sunday. He was a lovely person … soft-spoken but strong, humorous, hard-working and a true family man. We will miss him!

Anniversary Tail

Sunday was our 12th wedding anniversary. A friend asked how long we’d been together, and when I replied “12 years” Dan quickly jumped in with “FIFTEEN!!” So apparently it’s been a long time. Or it at least feels like a long time to Dan.

He is super hard to buy for, so when the opportunity came up on Facebook to help a local wildlife rescue group release a hawk back into the wild, I jumped on it. Birds of prey and Dan go together like peanut butter and chocolate. And luckily I won (and it didn’t cost me nearly as much as it should have).

So here are some photos from our adventure out to Magnolia, Texas, last weekend to release a juvenile red-tailed hawk … such an incredible creature. And it was an amazing moment to watch him circle around and fly off to freedom.


For the first time in a very long time, I was truly frightened on Halloween. My friend Kathy’s daughter was having her first birthday party, and Scarlett was still napping, so Anabella and I went over alone. Dan called just as we were leaving to go trick-or-treating with the birthday party to find out where they could meet us. A few minutes later, this comes walking down the street.

Yes, that is my husband and his last-minute, surprise costume. He’s wearing a Halloween costume of mine from several years ago (I was a senorita) … with painted finger nails and reeking of my perfume. And he was wearing a pair of heels that I haven’t worn yet. Oh, and pearls. LOL

P.S. Of course the girls were total cuties. I’ll post photos of them tomorrow. For some crazy reason, I signed up for NaBloPoMo this year (30 posts in 30 days), so I need to stretch this out. 😉

Blah, Ugh, Help

Dan has been traveling for over a week now, and although I am not totally alone in the endeavor to keep my children safe and sound, I still feel like I have been hit by a very large truck. Maybe even a bulldozer. Whatever it was, I’m the roadkill. Scarlett summed it up yesterday …

I really wasn’t expecting it to be this hard. Dan traveled a lot when Scarlett was a newborn, and that was exhausting too, but something about working full-time and then coming home to two toddlers (one of whom refuses to go to bed before 9:30) is beyond difficult.

So, first I’d like to give a shout out to all the working, single moms. Holy crap, you ladies deserve an award! Second, while I would like to whine some more about poor me getting my ass kicked by a bunch of half-pints, I really just wanted everyone to know why I haven’t been blogging.

And since I am sleep deprived and clearly on the road to depression, here’s a fun exercise … a way for you all to make me feel better. (I stole the idea from a local radio show.) PLEASE entertain me with your witty comments. I need something to keep me awake until at least 10 p.m. And I might even give a prize.

Name something that the Internet has ruined forever.

Their list included:

  • Rick Astley (have you been “Rick Rolled?”)
  • Cats (Because everyone is bothering the poor cats with photo taking for funny captions on Internet sites. Whatever, cats. Get over it.)
  • Watching TV with other people
  • Motivational posters (I think we are okay with this one, right?)
  • Phone books
  • Newspapers
  • Tom Cruise
  • Porn (Because it’s no longer mysterious and hard to come by … and yes, I avoided the obvious joke there … whaaa. Poor porn guys. It’s all so common now.)
  • Journalism (I think that might be a dig at bloggers!)
  • Privacy

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving a large helping of parental exhaustion with a side of “what the hell happened to my life?”

Eight years and counting

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. Dan is in Chicago, so I’m all pitiful. The girls and I had celebratory fish sticks for dinner and I chased them with a mocha frappaccino. Delish.

I went to our online family website and found this photo from our wedding (lovely border courtesy of a crazy aunt). Look how happy we were … younger, thinner, better skin. Ah, the memories.

(mush on) Anywho, I have to say that I love the man as much as I did on this day … maybe even more. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. (mush off)

Bee, if you see him walking down the street or in a restaurant or something, give him a big hug for me.

Really, Dan?

Dan recently took the girls to Build-A-Bear Workshop. The bear on the left is Scarlett’s bear … Anabella picked it out for her. The bear on the right is Anabella’s bear. Dan swears she picked it out all by herself.

Really, Dan? The masculine-looking bear wearing camouflage … with a matching beret and dog tags (not pictured). Anabella picked that out all by herself? Her daddy, the ex-Marine, didn’t have anything to do with it? The same daddy who puts Marine Corps. stickers on every car we own? The daddy whose last three cars have been Hummers? The daddy who asked for a bulldog (the Marine Corps. mascot) for his 30th birthday? I have a hard time believing daddy didn’t coach her on this one.

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving kick-ass Marine baby toys. Mameluke sword or a nice Beretta 9mm for your three-year-old daughter? Sure!

P.S. What’s Scarlett sitting on today? ALMOST a chair!

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to my fabulous husband Dan! We celebrated with a trip to Max’s Wine Dive last night with a few close friends. (Because nothing says “it’s your day” like hamburgers and wine.) Today, he gets to sleep in, which is probably the best gift you can give around here. I love you, baby!

It’s also the birthday of Halle, my best friend from high school. Happy birthday, Hal! Sushi this week … on me!

It’s been a crazy weekend … going-away parties (I’ll miss you, Kara!), kid birthday parties (happy 3rd, Cole!), Dan’s birthday and now, the Oscars. I have a few friends coming over to watch. And, of course, the highly coveted Golden Biatch will be bestowed upon some lucky girl for the next year. Personally, I’m excited to see Hugh Jackman as host. Could he be any hotter?

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving birthday cake.

Double Turkey

Dan and I managed to squeeze in a date night over the Thanksgiving weekend. We decided on dinner and Dave & Buster’s … Dan likes to pretend shoot things, and I enjoy any game that gives me tickets so I can “buy” worthless crap like this incredibly cool, farting finger pen. (Don’t worry, I always get Anabella something while we are there … this time it was a Dora wallet and a wind-up penguin who does back flips.)

Trivia is one of my favorites, but I also like Tower of Power …. BA DA DUM! (that’s the noise it makes.) My friend Rakel and I totally rock ToP. (We hit the jackpot six times between the two of us last time we went on a double date to D&B.)

But the coolest D&B news was from the bowling alley, where Dan THE MAN busted out SIX strikes in a row. And this was after 1.) I had given up on bowling for the night, and 2.) He’d had about five beers. Everyone was MUY impressed … high-fiving him and making comments on what a cool dude he was.

So here’s to my honey and his double turkey. Fame and Glory not only at D&B, but also in the blog community.

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving poultry.

Dan is the Man

Me: Can you say “Happy Father’s Day, daddy!”?

Anabella: Happy Dauders Day, daddy!

Me: How about “Happy Daddy’s Day, daddy!”?

Anabella: Happy Daddy’s Day, daddy!

Me: Say it again.

Anabella: Happy Daddy’s Day, daddy!

Me: Ok, now go in the kitchen and say that to daddy.

Anabella runs into kitchen, looks at my husband and says….


And that’s what I get for trying to train a 2 year old.

Obviously the girls can’t say the things I know they would like to (if they understood in the slightest what today is all about), so I will do it for them.

Happy Father’s Day, Dan. Not only are you the husband I always dreamed of, you are the father I never imagined. You kiss boo-boos, you play silly games, you tickle, you go to the zoo, you eat Chick-fil-a, you get up early, you take night feedings, you watch cartoons that drive you crazy, you bravely take two small children on outings by yourself, you participate on the playground, you buy cool toys (that mommy won’t), you are a master at tucking in, and you make the world’s best French toast.

You are a true partner in parenting…and you always see the fun in the job. You are always present. And you will always be loved and adored by your two little girls (and your big one too!).