Break me out of cookie hell

I’m so over you, Girl Scout cookies.

Everything this past weekend revolved around Girl Scout cookies. Driving to BFE to pick up the cookies, then unloading the 200 cases of cookies (that’s over 2,000 boxes!) into my garage. Sorting the cookies into each girl’s order. Having the Girl Scout moms come by to pick up their cookies. Counting and recounting. And still effing up two orders. Ugh.

I suck at math (thank goodness for Excel) and having all these cookies around is way too tempting. We ate 1/2 a box of peanut butter sandwiches and an entire box of carmel delights yesterday. These cookies need to go adios!

I am so F*cking OVER you …

I have banked with many different institutions in my life and I can honestly say that Wells Fargo is the worst. Beyond the worst … it’s the devil. Maybe the bank isn’t the devil, but the devil definitely works there … and he is my account manager.

I won’t go into a long, drawn out story about all the bad thing Wells Fargo has done to me … but here are a few highlights.

1. Opened a savings account in my name WITHOUT my permission, then started automatically deducting money from my checking to put into said savings account every month. Then, didn’t pay me interest because I hadn’t signed the IRS form (maybe because I didn’t ask you to open a savings account for me, a**holes?).

2. Told me there would be a 10-day hold on a large cashier’s check and sent me a letter telling me the same. After 12 days, several charges bounce, because they decide to put an additional hold on said check without informing me (I guess Chase Bank is not a reputable source according to WF.). On top of that, they paid themselves (my car payment) first (putting my account in the negative) and then bounced several smaller charges on the same day, which would have gone through had the car payment not, and charged me $35 a pop for each.

3. After depositing CASH, at lunchtime, I find out they didn’t credit it immediately. Who doesn’t credit CASH on the same day if you make it in before close of business? Argh.

So the latest fiasco involved me buying a new car and riding myself of the Range Rover and Wells Fargo all in one swoop. (I have been counting the days!) I called them up, got the payoff information, filled out their little form to stop automatic withdraw of the payment from my account, sent it back and did a little dance. The end? NO.

Several days later they decide to go ahead and take out the payment, even though they probably have the payoff check in their satanic little hands, which of course overdrafted the account … because it has no money in it since I intend to close it ASAP. So now, even though they have an extra car payment in their possession, they have been psycho calling me all weekend because my account is in overdraft.

Only the devil would pay himself a car payment on a car that has been PAID OFF from an account that has no money in it.

I’m so f*cking OVER you …

TEXANS! Not Texans meaning us cool people who live in Texas, but The Texans as in the football team.

I am so tired of dragging my ass to Reliant Stadium every other Sunday to see them lose. It’s depressing. Especially because 1.) we have a lot of good players, and 2.) we have spent a lot of money to be season ticket holders for 7 years of losing seasons.

I know we are a new team, but COME ON. Despite what Omar thinks, they are not losing because I refuse to splash more blue poo water on myself! Get a decent quarter back. Get a better coach. Do SOMETHING. Throw money at it! Seriously, I hear that works.

Oh, and while you are at it…please get rid of the hookers who dance in the end zone after every quarter. What happened to the days when cheerleaders did CHEERS and not just slutty dances? I don’t want my daughters watching that crap.

So to wrap this rant up with something completely not related to the Texans sucking, a little fun fact about me. Here is the view from my seat …

And here is where I watch the game.

I think somebody has a TV problem.

I am so f*cking OVER you…


This is like the umpteenth time I have had to pack up my stuff, my kids and my animals, and get the hell out of dodge. After living in Houston my entire life, you would think I would have the hang of it, but I honestly don’t remember having this many true “threats” in the past. Granted, I live a lot closer to the coastline now, but still. It’s a pain the ass.

So, it is times like these that I am really glad we have a Hummer, and Father Al and everyone else who gives me a hard time about my H2 can just SUCK it. It is packed full of stuff and now I just need to cram in two kids and two dogs and hit the highway.

More soon.

I am so f*cking OVER you…


I don’t know what the deal is, but this is the second pair of shoes that has crapped out on me at work. (I’ve only been working for 31 days!)

Last time, the heel came off, and the strap was attached in between the heel and the sole, so I was walking around barefoot until lunchtime. Today, I am just making a very loud “THAP THAP THAP” noise as I walk the halls…unless I carefully slide my foot without lifting it up. (But then people might think I am making fun of the handicapped, so I should probably stop that.)

I attempted to glue my shoe back together, but all I managed to do was glue the bottom of my pants to the top half of my shoe. TGIF.