Unfortunately, my life is pretty boring at the moment. It’s all babies, lessons in patience, and watching TV. But to keep myself entertained, I have been keeping track of some personal stats. Here are the current tallies:
- Times I’ve been projectile puked on: 2
- Times I’ve been peed on while changing a diaper: 2
- Pounds lost: 33 (I gained 50, so don’t be too impressed, especially since I still had “baby weight” from the last one!)
- Number of cold showers for Anabella after playing with poop since the baby came home: 3
- Number of things I have bought off infomercials: 0 (this is quite a feat)
- Number of things I am very tempted to buy off an infomercial: 2 (The Tobi steamer looks really cool.)
- Number of times I have been tempted to drink heavily after dealing with terrible two year old: Countless
On her deathbed!
Sorry I haven’t been posting or commenting this past week, but I have spent 20% of my time with my head in a toilet and the other 80% in bed. Something was definitely trying to kill me, but I think I have prevailed. I am currently on anti-vomit medication (I had no idea there was such a thing!), so while I am not barfing, I am now dizzy, tired and still quite nauseous. Hopefully I will be feeling more normal soon, as I have LOTS of things to blog about. (A solid week of TV has given me many, many topics….Anna Nicole Smith, the diaper-wearing astronaut, the teenagers who baked a puppy…our world has gone mad, people!)
In the interim, my friend Kim sent me a really funny video from YouTube featuring the late Steve Irwin. I will post it for your viewing pleasure.
My poor little baby has been the host to some nasty stomach virus for several days now, which has resulted in LOTS of puke in my life (see October 19 post…when the puke is gone, I promise to quit talking about it.) The last time she threw up was on Sunday, so we put her back on her normal diet and all seemed well.
Well tonight she starts getting a little whiny, so I pick her up and she gives me one of her sweet little hugs, then BAM…I am covered in throw up. Nice.
My hubby quickly rushes her into a bath, and as I am de-funking myself, I notice grapes stuck to my shirt. (gross, I know) Then I remember, she hasn’t had any grapes in weeks….hmmm, how is that possible?
They were raisins! Isn’t that interesting? I guess they rehydrate in the stomach, and TADA…they are grapes again.
Can I get you a snack?
…let my dog eat baby puke? I know this is gross, but I need to get a consensus. First, let me say that it wasn’t really puke in the true sense of the word. It was more like regurgitated food. 🙂 Everything was still as it had been on the plate, and quite frankly I was more interested in cleaning up the baby…and me. So my hubby said “who cares? he’s a dog…he’s eaten a lot worse.” And while I know that to be true, it still felt wrong. I’ve kept him from eating disgusting things whenever possible…I broke him from licking Winston’s a**hole (our English bulldog)…so now I’m going to let him do as he pleases just to help me out with a little mess?
P.S. Yes, I did “look the other way” and let Frankie dog enjoy his little snack. He even licked the carpet pretty clean.
I am a bad, bad dog-mommy.
Hard to believe this sweet face would like the taste of puke.