I was recently sitting in the lobby of Massage Envy waiting for my appointment, when a man who worked there approached me.
Man: Hi, Rhonda. Do you remember me?
Me: No, I’m sorry I don’t.
Man: I’m Jeff. I knew you when you dated Gilmer.
Me: (laughing loudly) I can assure you I have NEVER dated anyone named Gilmer.
Man: Sure you did.
Me: (Completely dumbfounded … going through list of men in head .. sure there was one Bubba, but that was short lived…)
Man: Jonathan GILMER Lastname. (a man I lived with for over a year when I was 20.) He was a good friend of mine.
Me: Are you kidding me? (start to laugh uncontrollably)
Jeff: (Completely dumbfounded) Ummm …
Me: He told me he didn’t have a middle name!! I always felt bad for him because his name was so generic. I lived with him for f*ck’s sake! I can’t believe he lied about that … (rambled on for a while longer)
Poor Jeff. I think I did manage to ask if he was married and such, but I wasn’t listening (his name might not even be Jeff). I just couldn’t let go of the G. R. (Gilmer Revelation)
So there it is. I have officially dated a Bubba and a Gilmer. Next thing you know, I am going to find out Dan’s real name is Navin or Englebert.
— The B.S. Cafe is now serving a renewed satisfaction with my own middle name.
P.S. What’s Scarlett sitting on today?