Hello from Germany

It’s day five of a business trip, and as I sit here with a bit of a hangover, listening to a presentation on finance, I thought I would jot down a few random thoughts …

1. Potatoes and schnitzel can be found everywhere. For every meal. 

2. German men enjoy colorful socks. Stripes, polka dots, bright colors … you can find the Germans in the room by their socks. 

3. The German language is intimidating. How many 25 letter words can you have?!

4. Cryophobia is clearly rampant. I’ve had one glass of ice water since I’ve been here, and I had to beg for it.

5. Flight simulators are awesome. If I had $25 million euros, I would buy one. 


I’m back!

After a site redesign, followed by a hosting move and several other missteps, I’m finally back in business. There were so many times I wanted to blog …but of course, all those amazing post ideas are long gone. (Short-term memory loss is part of getting older, right?) Ha.

So it has been a busy five weeks. We were in Michigan for Jim’s funeral, then back home for my birthday (a spa day with all of my closest girlfriends … it was awesome), then I was off to Vegas and Wisconsin for a week-long business trip.

There was a little silliness …

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And a whole lot of this … (I rediscovered my love of cocktails)


Which led to a little alcohol-induced oversharing between me and my colleagues, but it was fun getting to know them better (which makes me love my job even more), and we stayed at the Bellagio, so that was top-notch.

Wisconsin was much more pleasant in June than in November, and I even tried cheese curds this time. They were yum.


But the best part of the trip was this …

Welcome home banner

So here we are in July. We had a fun-filled, five-day family weekend to celebrate Independence Day (think Dave & Buster’s, Despicable Me 2, fireworks, lots of swimming…), and now we (being Dan and me) need a vacation.

But there is no rest for the weary, because Anabella turns eight this week, and we are hosting a slumber party this weekend. Lord help us! 😉



A few weeks ago I took a trip to Stevens Point, Wisconsin. A place that is in the middle of nowhere. I know this because not only can you not fly directly there, just getting there can be quite a challenge period.

After being stranded in Detroit for a night (this was my view from the airport Westin) …

… I was then stranded at this “airport” (it only had two gates) the next day for a while because we still couldn’t land at our destination. 24 hours after leaving home, I finally arrived at our offices.

The people were all lovely, and I had a great time getting to know coworkers from around the globe (Who also had a hell of a time getting there … some people even had to drive from Chicago and Minneapolis!).

One thing I found very interesting was the abundance of specialty parking.

There were about 10 of these expectant mother parking spots at the front of the building. All empty. And for an employee population of approx. 400 people. I’m guessing there isn’t much to do in the middle of nowhere, so they are just preparing for the inevitable.

I was also completely surprised that one of the handful of restaurants in town was a really good sushi place. Complete with a Japanese sushi chef. Weird.

And here is your bonus photo. On my last day there, it was 11 degrees outside. We rarely see those temps in Texas, so it was fun to get a little “winter” while I was there. (Even though the locals were all running around in short-sleeve shirts talking about how “mild” is was.)

So, to sum it up. Wisconsin, not someplace I would visit for pleasure.

Moving on up

I got my new business cards last Friday. (I blurred out all the contact info just in case stalkers are reading this blog. However, if you can find me by fax, more power to you!)

Titles don’t mean much these days, but becoming a Veep of a global corporation was an incredible moment for me. I’ve only been on the job for three weeks, but so far I am enjoying every minute of it. It is refreshing to be excited to go to work every day!

However, there are things that I miss about my old department:
– The friendships … especially Stasa and Jen … miss you ladies!
– Free snacks and cokes (now I pay 75 cents when I need a caffeine fix)
– Telecommuting two days a week (Boy do I miss my Wednesdays and Fridays at home!)
– The view of Houston from the 40th floor (I still have an office, but no window. Boo!). I especially miss watching the hawks circling the building.

More on the new job later!

It’s a Gaga holiday

Yes, I know I haven’t posted in forever. It’s not that I don’t think to … there just seems to be no time lately. More soon, but for now please enjoy the gingerbread house my department put together for a contest we are having here at the office. Inspired by Lady Gaga’s workshop at Barneys.

P.S. I can take little to no credit for this. I bought the stuff, and came up with the Lady Gaga theme, but my idea was to cover the entire house in meat. Our web designer Agustin was the creative force behind this beauty.

Cross that one off the bucket list

Did you miss me? I can’t believe it has been a month since I posted. What a loser! Life kind of jumped in and kicked my butt these last few weeks, but that won’t happen again. Here’s a quick recap:

  • Promotion at work (celebrated for two days)
  • Third annual trip to Lake Austin Spa with my BFF from high school (also bought ridiculously expensive purse at Gucci outlet to celebrate promotion – traumatized self for a week)
  • Rock Band slumber party with closest friends. Partied til 4 a.m.
  • Fell deathly ill with a flu/strep throat/sinusitis combo the next day (SuperBowl Sunday – missed the party!) and had to stay quarantined in my bedroom for NINE LONG DAYS (so the hubby and kiddos wouldn’t get sick)
  • Tried to play catch up at work and home for three days
  • Went to the Mom 2.0 Summit last Friday and Saturday – had a blast!

So the Mom 2.0 Summit was incredibly inspiring and thought-provoking and just plain fun. Meeting women who are so talented and successful and doing things on their own terms (and putting faces with blogs that I have been reading for years — even Dooce was there!) reminded me why I started this blog in the first place (almost five years ago!).

And one of the major highlights was — riding in the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile! I rode “shotbun” around downtown Houston, waving at people and acting like a rock star. If you ever get the opportunity, I suggest you take it. Nothing puts a smile on your face like riding in a wiener.

I convinced Amanda (PR maven and new partner in crime) to go along for the ride!

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I am hoping at least a few of you remember Ren and Stimpy. I have officially put on my happy helmet and am determined that this is going to be a fabulous week. Because last week was total crap and I cannot handle a repeat. A good friend found out she has breast cancer. Dan’s dad found out his cancer has returned. And lots of other stupid trivial things happened.

The most entertaining stupid trivial thing included me, my white pants and a mocha frappuccino. I was coming back to the office after a quick trip to Starbucks. I got out of my car and walked around toward the back, when the frappuccino slipped out of my hands, hit the concrete and SPLAT … all over the right leg of my white pants.

Me (in a very loud voice): “JESUS! F*CK!”

A voice from the distance: “Rhonda?”

Me (panicking in my head): “CRAP! You just took the Lord’s name in vein AND dropped an F-bomb in the parking garage.”

From around a car, comes my coworker Vanessa. WHEW.

Vanessa: “I knew I recognized that voice. Are you okay?” Looks down at my pants and begins to laugh. “Oh my.”

She was nice enough to walk with me through the sky walks (pretending like no big deal), and even let me hide behind her on the elevator. Thirty minutes and one entire Tide pen later, my pant leg was completely soaked, but the frappuccino was mostly gone.

The moral of the story … invest in Tide pens. Oh, and don’t cuss and act like a raging maniac in the parking garage at work.

The following portion of this blog is rated “R”
So, I took this test last week (and was so tickled by the questions that I could not stop laughing … it was as close to being completely hysterical as I have ever come … I am pretty sure my coworkers wanted to slap me), but feel I should go ahead and post my results … just in case anyone wants to mess with me and/or ruin the fabulous week ahead.

How many baboons could you take in a fight? (armed only with a giant dildo)

Created by The Oatmeal

What will cause Rhonda to drink heavily this week?

Here’s the lowdown on the warfare against me over the past few days.

  • Crohn’s in full flare-up. Spent most of the weekend in bed.
  • Waiting for layoffs at work … which feels like waiting for the Grim Reaper to arrive.
  • Deuce, curled up on my chest sleeping, looks up and takes a bite out of my NECK. The really sensitive part of my neck half way between my chin and collar bone. A-hole.
  • Anabella is pushing all of my buttons at every opportunity. Telling me “no” and being quite the PITA.
  • Scarlett runs up behind me, hugs my leg … and then BITES me on the ass. Hard. Then laughs.
  • Deuce knocks my bedside lamp onto my head in the middle of the night, almost giving me a complete heart attack.
  • Scarlett continues to manhandle Deuce and requires constant supervision. But now she runs, with Deuce still in her grips, if I reprimand her.
  • Put Deuce in my bedroom for a few minutes to give Scarlett a “time out.” He crawls into my bra/panty drawer and PEES.
  • Did I mention Dan is out of town?

So, what will it be?

Oh no!

Scarlett’s new favorite saying … and the only response the Comcast Customer Service person could come up with when I canceled my service today.

“Oh no. We hate to lose you as a customer.”

“Oh no. I can’t believe they didn’t offer you the preferred package.”

“Oh no. That’s too bad.”

It’s cute as hell when my 18-month old says it over and over. When the lady on the telephone does it, I want to strangle someone.

My computer has also mysteriously rebooted itself five times since I got to work, and some dude in another office called and gave me an a**chewing because he wasn’t happy with the employee newsletter.

Happy Monday.

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving a tiny dose of Monday-morning hostility.

P.S. What’s Scarlett sitting on today? A tiny tractor. She’s a bonnet and camouflage-wearing farmer. Oh no.

Take that evil, theiving Coke machine!

I’ve been in a major battle with the Coke machine since the day I started working here. It’s probably stolen $20 from me over the past eight months (the funny part is that it occasionally gives me money too. It’s a love/hate thing we have going), but because I would have to walk all the way to the other side of campus to get a refund from the cafeteria (a good 10-minute hike), I’d rather just complain about it. In January, I decided to start keeping track and recently posted a tally in a common area.

Today, a little homemade envelope showed up at the bottom of my tally.

Isn’t that nice? So far, I have collected 35 cents. Woohoo.

–The B.S. Cafe is currently serving Pepsi.