Bad asses

The girls received their yellow belts last week. I don’t get to see many of their karate sessions, so it was exciting to watch them take the test.

Pushups, sit ups, jumping jacks, kicks, breaking boards … and most impressive of all, standing still and being quiet. ūüėČ

 

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P.S. Google Analytics is proving to be entertaining this evening. Some of the search terms that brought people to my blog this week include “how to meet troy aikman,” spider ‘so i stepped on him,'” and my favorite “inside my panties.” WTF is that one about?!

That’s not fooling anybody

In February, I bought Dan a Meyer Lemon tree for his birthday. He loves lemons, and I’ve discussed before, he is really hard to buy for, so it was the perfect gift. He has been babying it ever since and moved it from the pot to the yard earlier this summer.

lemon tree

It’s doing well and has¬†plenty of fruit growing, but we noticed that the black birds were pecking at the lemons. Dan said he could cure the problem, and being that he was raised on a farm, I figured he had it under control.

Silly me. You would think I would have learned by now.¬† This is Dan’s resolution to the problem.

Owl

An owl. Sitting in the pool chair …¬†getting some rays.

I’m sure the black birds are terrified.

 

WTF? Wednesday

A friend and I were recently discussing Mexican Coke, when the Dr. Pepper equivalent came up (because Dr. Pepper shut down the plant, which I hadn’t heard about). Due to my old age, I couldn’t remember what they called the Dr. Pepper version, so I Googled it. This was the first thing that came up in the search results.

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That’s right … 24 bottles of Dublin Dr. Pepper are selling for $9,999 on eBay. That is cuckcoo! Seriously, I love Mexican Coke and would be very sad if they closed the plant that makes it … but I wouldn’t pay $100 for 24 bottles of it, much less $10K. It definitely tastes better with real sugar, and I GET why people cherish it, but WTF? I need to go back and see if someone actually bought it.

So, I’ve posted about this before, but apparently some people aren’t getting the memo. Your car is not a person. It’s doesn’t need eyelashes … or in this case, a mustache. (Dan’s thoughts? “That gives new meaning to the phrase ‘mustache ride’.” Ugh. Men.)

Mustache

I’m willing to give a pass to the¬†folks who decorate their cars at Christmas with wreaths or deer antlers and noses, but this is just stupid.

Stop it. Get a pet.

 

WTF? Wednesday

Crazy pills

I rarely write about work, mostly because I am extremely happy there and that is boring, but I got so heated at work last night that I feel the need to share.¬†The whole story isn’t worth telling, just a moment of complete hypocrisy and unfounded accusations on the part of a known douche, but it totally threw me into one of those moments. You know, the moment where you just want to scream at someone and punch them in the face because they are so¬†f*cking ridiculous that your head almost explodes. That was me. Red-in-the-face,¬†ranting-and-cussing¬†mad. And at the exact moment that I decided to hit mute and scream “Oh my God, you are f*cking asshole!” at the phone, the poor cleaning lady opted not to come in and empty the trash in my office. Ha. That will teach her.

Luckily my boss was sweet enough to let me rant and rave until I felt a little better, but I have to say the absolute hardest part of working in Corporate America is holding my tongue and not calling B.S. when I see or hear it. Seriously. The self-control last night was just short of a miracle or some sort of divine intervention.

 

 

P.S. Any other Zoolander fans out there? I adore Will Ferrell in that movie. 

Sisterly love

I found myself very touched when I found this drawing that Scarlett made for Anabella on her birthday.

bday card from Scar

It says “Anabella, I love you. You are the best sister ever. Kiss.”

Or so I thought.

After it had been hanging on the fridge a few days,¬†I found myself looking a little closer. “Are those arrows?” I thought.

Me: Scarlett, what is this on the bottom of your picture?

Scarlett: A butterfly.

Me: No, the other side. The circles.

Scarlett: That’s a butt. (starts laughing hysterically) It says “Kiss this butt, Anabella!”

 

Ah, sisters. I will never, ever get it.

WTF? Wednesday

I was recently reading an article in the Wall Street Journal about the new trend in socks … which is apparently super fancy and expensive ¬†(yeah,¬†I’m not sure what attracted me to the story either). This is one of the sock lines they showcased:

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I wasn’t really buying the fancy sock thing anyway, but now they’ve completely lost me. I’m not a particularly fancy girl … except when it comes to purses and sunglasses … but I can assure you that cured meat does not scream “fancy.” If you paid $10 for these, you are a dumbass.

Also recently came across this chair while looking for some new family room furniture.

Womb chair

Really? The WOMB chair? First, I think I find that sort of gross and offensive (and I can guarantee a woman did not name this chair). Second, how proud are they of this thing? $3K for an ugly red chair. WTF?

And finally, I found this gem on Facebook:

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Why didn’t I come up with this? I am totally inspired to carry chalk in my car. I’ll keep it right next to these.

I survived

But just barely … and I wouldn’t have made it without my friends Kim, Jeanne, Tracie¬†and Kristy helping me man the ship. Who knew 10 little girls could be so demanding … and exhausting. Thank goodness for Pinot Grigio.

It was a super successful party … the girls had a blast getting glitter tattoos and colored hair streaks, in addition to consuming lots of sugar, singing karaoke and trashing my house.

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Hopefully it will be something Anabella will always remember. I know I won’t forget it any time soon. ūüėČ

Happy birthday, Anabella!

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She’s EIGHT!

As usual, I’m having mixed emotions … joyful in watching her grow into a confident, self-reliant little person, and yet sad that my “little girl” is slowly being left behind. I already feel like I’m forgetting her as a baby, so I decided to take a walk down birthday memory lane.

Ribbet collage

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She’s become such a thoughtful, intelligent, inquisitive and funny young lady. (Well, almost lady. Dan bought her a whoopee cushion for her birthday, and she played with that for two hours nonstop, so we have a little work to do there.) She is by far one of the best two things I have ever done in my life.

I love you, Anabella!

 

 

I’m back!

After a site redesign, followed by a hosting move and several other missteps, I’m finally back in business. There were so many times I wanted to blog …but of course, all those amazing post ideas¬†are long gone. (Short-term memory loss is part of getting older, right?)¬†Ha.

So it has been¬†a busy five weeks. We were in Michigan for¬†Jim’s funeral, then back home for my birthday (a spa day with all of my closest girlfriends … it was awesome), then I was off to Vegas and Wisconsin for a week-long business trip.

There was a little silliness …

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And a whole lot of this … (I rediscovered my love of cocktails)

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Which led to a little alcohol-induced oversharing between me and my colleagues, but it was fun getting to know them better (which makes me love my job even more), and we stayed at the Bellagio, so that was top-notch.

Wisconsin was much more pleasant in June than in November, and I even tried cheese curds this time. They were yum.

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But the best part of the trip was this …

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So here we are in July. We had a fun-filled, five-day family weekend to celebrate Independence Day (think Dave & Buster’s, Despicable Me 2, fireworks, lots of swimming…), and now we (being Dan and me) need a vacation.

But there is no rest for the weary, because Anabella turns eight this week, and we are hosting a slumber party this weekend. Lord help us! ūüėČ

 

Farewell

Dan’s dad passed away on Sunday. He was a lovely person … soft-spoken but strong, humorous, hard-working and a true family man. We will miss him!