When you become a parent, the days of going into a bathroom alone are pretty much over. And now that Anabella is almost potty trained, she finds the bathroom to be a place where everyone is welcome.
The scene: I’m in the bathroom doing my business, but then the door quickly swings wide open …
Anabella: MOMMY! You’re going POTTY!
Me: Yes, I am. I’ll be out in a minute.
Anabella: (Completely ignoring me) Are you going peepee and poopoo, mommy?
Me: (Completely ignoring Anabella)
Anabella: You’re going peepee and poopoo in the POTTY! You get a prize, mommy!
Me: Umm, okay. Thanks.
Anabella: (very serious face) I have to see it first.
Me: I don’t think that’s necessary. I don’t really need a prize.
Anabella: Are you done? Let me see! Don’t flush, mommy! (practically pushing me off the toilet)
Me: (Feeling like I’ve been transported into the movie Freaky Friday) Okay, you can flush for me. (Head to sink to wash hands and regain self respect.)
Anabella: Good job, mommy. You did it! (pauses) OOOH, STINKY! (flushes toilet)
Me: (Wondering what I did to deserve this.)
Anabella: Come on, mommy! Let’s go get your prize! (Starts to run toward kitchen, but then stops abruptly. Turns to me with another very serious look on her face.) You only get ONE prize, mommy.
And here it is. My prize for not pooping my pants.
So clearly it’s time to reconsider my potty-training tactics. While I would like to believe that Anabella was just being an excited three-year-old child, I think she was actually teaching me a lesson in bathroom dignity for all people, big and small.
But then again, I don’t lie about pooping to get stickers.
— The B.S. Cafe is now serving a healthy portion of role reversal with a side of TP.