Taking a Chill Pill

Sorry I haven’t been around much, but I have been taking it easy. I don’t think I have ever shared here that I have Crohn’s disease (mainly because it has been in remission and quite frankly, it’s a bit of a downer), but I do … and it’s back with a vengeance.

So, I’ve been relaxing as much as possible, which means everything else has been sidelined over the past week. But the good news is I am feeling better every day and apparently potato soup is a miracle cure for intestinal disorders. Just so you know.

I have also been taken off of “hate mail” duty at work and that helped my angry gut almost immediately. But here is what I learned from answering nasty emails for almost two weeks.
  1. Excessive use of exclamation points (e.g. I am so angry!!!!!!) or question marks (e.g. What is wrong with you people??????????) means you are very, VERY pissed.
  2. Some people don’t understand how to use rhetorical questions properly. (e.g. Don’t you think I would like a spa vacation??? I demand an answer!)
  3. Making threats is okay, just make sure suspicion won’t fall on you by using a clause like “Not that I would do that,” “I don’t think it’s right, but…” or “I’m not saying I want this to happen, but…”
  4. If a person closes a letter by saying “I’m not crazy, I just want to know,” they are crazy.

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