I am walking into the building from lunch today, and as I scan my badge to open the security gate, the very large man coming in the gate next to me looks over and says, “You look like candy.”

Me: (confused face, followed fairly quickly by dirty look)

VLM: I mean you look like one of those candies. The peanut butter ones.

Me: (F-U look) Oh, okay. haha

Me in my mind: What the f*ck, VLM? Why would you say that to me? Don’t you know I can never wear this jacket again without thinking I look like a peanut butter bar? Do you realize I JUST bought this jacket and it wasn’t cheap? WTF is WRONG with you men?!

Me:

Peanut Butter Bars:

I really don’t see a resemblance.