Yesterday, I boarded an elevator with eight seemingly harmless people. Five of said people were talking on cell phones before the elevator arrived, and much to my surprise, not ONE of these people ended their conversation after getting on the elevator. That’s right. I was forced to listen to FIVE conversations (two of which were in foreign languages) for seven floors. WTF?

It’s time we put our collective feet down people. In my former corporate life (many years ago), I wrote a document on email etiquette for use at my company. This incident made me realize that someone really needs to write and distribute a cell phone etiquette manual to every Tom, Dick and Harry that purchases a cell phone. It’s bad enough that I have a near-death experience at least once week when some yahoo decides he needs to send a text message while driving 70 miles per hour down a freeway. Now I have to enter small, confined spaces and be forced to listen to five meaningless conversations at once? It’s ridiculous.

So as much as I love my cell phone, I make these promises to you… I promise I will not talk obnoxiously loud on my cell phone in public. I promise I will not text while driving or while you are speaking to me. I promise not to install a ridiculous ring tone on my phone and then let it ring for extended periods of time. And finally, I promise I will not discuss my latest trip to the gynecologist in front of seven strangers on an elevator.

You’re welcome.