Yes, I know I hardly look a day over 38, but I am now the big 4-0.

The last few weeks have been really hard on me. I’ve been engaging in lots of soul searching … questioning myself, my choices, where I am in life … all the things you ponder when you realize that you are, in fact, a middle-aged person.

But then last Friday, some of my dearest friends threw me an incredible cocktail party (thanks KB, Kim, Carol, Heather and Jeanne Marie!), and standing in a room full of amazing people, I had an AH-HA moment. It wasn’t that I was dreading 40. I was just sad about leaving an incredible decade behind.

I found myself in my 30s. I learned to trust my intuition. I became confident in my voice and my opinions. I married Dan. We traveled all over the world together. I went skydiving, and scuba diving, and I climbed the Sydney Harbor Bridge. I went to a SuperBowl and the World Series (when the Astros finally made it to the finals!). I took Dan dog sledding. We built a home together from the ground up. I became a mommy to two gorgeous little girls – a job I was never sure I would be good at, and then found I loved more than any other. I started blogging and met a new community of people through the love of writing. I finished college after many years of night school. I learned to appreciate all of the people in my life, by losing a few that I loved most. I discovered that I am always the same girl on the inside – just a little wiser and now a little older.

Standing in that room full of people that I have made true connections with over the years, helped me realize that the 40s will be even better than the 30s. It’s the same journey, but the fruit of my 30s – the friendships I have built along the way – will be going with me.

Kicking and screaming into middle age.