1. If you peel a banana from the bottom up, you don’t get those gross stringy things.

Apparently that’s how monkeys do it. Hard to imagine stringy things would be a problem for animals that throw feces and sniff butts, but whatever.

2. If something is on fire, black smoke means no one is putting water on it yet.

We were watching a house fire from our 35-floor windows yesterday and my coworker Stephen says “no firetrucks yet.” I’m all like “how do you know that?” and he says “no white smoke.” Sure enough, five minutes later the black smoke turned white … fire trucks on the scene.

3. Aerosmith’s “Dude looks like a lady” is about Vince Neil.

Clearly, I am watching too much E! television.

4. Sonic has the healthiest french fries.

Thanks for the tidbit, Susan. Check out the full french-fry scoop.

5. Announcing layoffs makes everyone in your office crazy.

— The B. S. Cafe is now serving paranoia and general disgruntlement.