Anabella has been talking about monsters a lot lately (but not in an “I’m scared” kind of way), so I have been working very hard to assure her that monsters aren’t something to be afraid of.
However, something has happened in my subconscious, because I am suddenly afraid of everything. The other night I was brushing my teeth and when I looked up into the mirror, I saw Dan and screamed. But since I had a mouth full of toothpaste, it was more of a open-mouthed gargle that sent toothpaste all over the counter and mirror. He thought it was hysterical, but I was all like “WTF?” When did I turn into such a p*ssygirl?
Then tonight, I opened the front door to pull a flyer off the door handle, and a medium-sized spider falls onto the floor. I HATE spiders, so I stepped on him. But when I pulled my foot back, a 100 tiny spiders scattered across the floor. I screamed so loud that the neighbor walking across the street ran over and immediately helped me river dance on all those little guys. (thank goodness for cool, spider-hatin neighbors) The way my heart was racing you would think a boa constrictor just popped out of the closet.
So clearly I need help, because I just walked into the bathroom, turned on the light and let out a shriek so loud that Dan came running from the second floor, opposite side of the house. Here’s the scary monster in the bathroom.
BOO! It’s Dora the Mermaid!