I still have a little pile of stuff sitting in my office from my birthday…books, cards, trinkets, etc…and because everything in our home belongs to Anabella, she helped herself to one of mommy’s “toys”…a little silly statue that is supposedly the patron saint of hangovers (a gift from my friend Kim…it accompanied a very large bottle of Grey Goose. Kim rocks.).

Please notice that you can only give this to drunks ages 3+. Younger drunks might choke on the small parts.

So anywho, I can’t get this thing away from Anabella without an all-out fist fight, so I let her take it in the car for the ride to school Wednesday. She refuses to hand it over as we get out of the car, so I figured I could distract her once she got into her classroom and sneak away with it.

Well as soon as we hit the door, she starts showing everyone her treasure. I panic and start bargaining with her, promising to give it back after school, maybe it would be accompanying some ice cream…but no. Her teacher walks over and says “It’s okay. She can do a little ‘show and tell’ today.

F*CK! So, I smile and leave. Luckily it just says “Saint Vivian” on it…no big deal, right? I am sure the folks at the church will find this all very amusing. Or maybe there really is a St. Vivian!

I jump on Google when I get home, and sure enough, there is a St. Vivian. She was a “virgin and a martyr”…and the best part…”because St. Vivian is in one story represented as having been locked up with mad people, she has been honored as a patron of the insane and epileptics.”

What a lovely show and tell!

Saint Vivian has been banished to the junk cabinet, but at least she has the bulldog dinner bell and some old flasks to keep her company.