Just pretending to be 3 years old
Over the weekend, my angry chick went missing. I knew Anabella was the culprit because I have had to tell her several times not to play with it. (“Art” and “breakable” don’t mean much to a 3 year old.)

Me: Anabella, where is mommy’s bird?

Anabella: Birds are outside. (runs to window) Nope, no birds outside right now, mommy.

Me: Where is the bird that mommy has on the desk in her office? The one you were playing with yesterday?

Anabella: Bird?

Me: Yes. Let’s go look. (walk into my office and point to where Angry Chick used to be)

Anabella: Bird is gone. (runs to office window) Nope, bird isn’t out there mommy.

Me: Anabella, did you move mommy’s bird?

Anabella: What bird?

Me: Anabella, the kitty misses her friend.

Anabella: (Very serious look on her face) Really?

Me: Yes, the kitty is very sad.

Anabella: Oh. (thinks about it for a minute.) I broke the bird. He’s in that box. (pointing under desk) Sorry, mommy. (leaves the room)

Sure enough, angry chick was thrown in a box … her gun barrel broken off. So apparently my sweet little girl was taking me on a silly, wild chicken chase, all the while knowing exactly what I was talking about. When did she get so smart … and devious?

Coolest Car Ever
Okay, maybe not the coolest car ever, but look at what my car did the other day when I was dangerously close to running out of gas.

It took the initiative to find me 20 gas stations within the range of the amount of gas I had left. The only way it could be any cooler is if it said something like “Hey, dumba** … you will be walking in about five minutes if you don’t get some gas.”

Secret Santa
I convinced my coworkers to participate in a Secret Santa exchange this week. Look what I got today …

It’s an old-school slinky … no plastic, child-safe crap going on here. It’s better than a stress ball, which is why I’ve been playing with it all day. No sense being productive on a Monday, right?

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving lead-based toys.