The Gambler

My list of bad habits has been seriously shortened as of late (because I am knocked up…surprise, bloggy friends!), so instead of drinking and cussing (more about the almost two year old in my constant presence), I have taken up gambling. I have always participated in March Madness, but in addition this year I am taking part in an American Idol pool, and have also found a sudden affection for scratch-off lotto tickets.

In fact, I recently won $5,000 and a trip to the World Series of Poker on a scratch-off ticket. My husband bought it and told me to pick two of the five “tables” to scratch off. We got home, put the kiddo down for a nap, and off I went to scratch my ticket. Well, my hands were a full house and three of kind…winners!

I started jumping up and down. I won! I won! The hubby comes running over and gives me a big hug. There’s lots of talk about when we will go cash in our ticket, what we are going to do with the money, who gets to play in the WSOP, etc. Of course, all the excitement led to a little celebratory sex…and then things settle down and we go about our usual activities.

I was busy tidying up my closet when the hubby walks in…

Hubby: You have a full house on this second hand.

Me: I know! Isn’t that awesome? I can’t believe it!

Hubby: Yes, that is pretty awesome, but you know what beats a full house, right?

Me: Not much. HA!

Hubby: True, but your opponent has a royal flush. And on this second hand, they have a straight, which beats your three of a kind. Did you even look at their hands?

Me: Yes…….I mean, I thought I did……I guess…….umm……..OH MY GAWD, PREGNANCY HAS ME TOTALLY STUPID.

He laughs and walks off. (But for some unknown reason, keeps the lotto ticket, and puts it up on the wall of his office. A reminder of what almost was? Or proof that I am occasionally the moron of the family?)

Later, I called my sister-in-law to tell her the story. Her response was “well, you were a winner for an hour anyway…(short pause), but I hope you didn’t give it up before you found out the truth.”

Yeah, well…I guess that makes the hubby the big winner that day.

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