“What the F*ck?” Wednesday

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I recently had a few moments of alone time to do a little shopping and found myself thinking “WTF?” at nearly every turn. Just a few examples…

I know trends get recycled, but are we really bringing the “Yo-Yo” back? It wasn’t that great the first time around.

From Old Navy…

All I could think when I saw this lovely, gold metallic number was…”HEY GOLDMEMBER!”

Please tell me if you would wear this. I must know who you are.

And my very favorite…


Bag O’ Undies???? For only $6…what a deal!

Sorry, but I am not buying a Bag O’ anything unless it’s a Bag O’ Cocktails.

How I know I am getting old

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  1. I told someone who is 30 that he is a “baby.”
  2. I scolded some teenagers for running in the hall and bumping into my 2-year-old daughter at school. (Although I did say it in a very young, hip way…”Hey Dudes, take it down a notch!)
  3. I chased some elementary school kids down the street after they threw pine cones at my car. When I caught up to them, I threatened to call their parents and the police. (WTF, me?! Don’t be crazy parent-calling lady!!!!)
  4. Some teenagers asked me how old they looked, and the one who I guessed to be the oldest was EXCITED. And I couldn’t remember when I was last excited to look older. And I told them not to try to grow up so fast. (Wha??? Only old people say that!)
  5. I found two pair of shoes I liked in a particular style I wanted…and I bought the pair that was more COMFORTABLE, instead of the ultra-cute pair!

Photo of the Week

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These guys moved into our neighborhood recently. The first day Anabella noticed them, she was like “Wow! What’s that?!” I told her “That’s the Presidents.” So now, every day when we drive by she’s all “HI PRESIDENTS!”


So, my main question (besides would you really want to eat dinner looking up close at one of these things??) is why do Washington, Lincoln and FDR have such huge heads compared to Bush, Jefferson and Kennedy?!

Leave me a satisfying answer…it doesn’t have to be truthful…and I will send you a package of fabulous Target parking tickets. (click here for the scoop on them… http://aintitfunny-rhonda.blogspot.com/2006/11/ridiculously-fabulous-purchase-of.html)

Christmas in March, Easter in June…

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The holidays never end at our house. Not sure if we just need more holiday cheer than everyone else, or if we are just destined to be “those” people in the neighborhood who leave Christmas lights on the house year-round. Today, I opened up the blinds in my office, and this is what I saw.

An Easter egg still hidden in our yard. So I decided to take a look around and found 2 more. (The good news is that they had packages of mini M&M’s in them, so I had a yummy afternoon snack!)So Easter is starting to feel a little like Christmas 2007, which didn’t end until March 2008.

Because we were home with a new baby and no visitors, I decided to go all out and hang lights on the house. Well, I could never get the guy who put them up come to take them down, and my six-foot ladder just barely got me close enough to rip the lights off the bottom story. Luckily, we had some high-wind days and the clips on the roof started coming down on their own. So when a strand would fall down far enough, I would get the ladder and go rip them down.

That worked fine until it came to the last strand, which was completely unreachable unless you got on the roof. I tried to borrow ladders, to no avail, and finally came up with an idea. Not a brilliant idea, but it worked none the less.

I used duct tape to attach the 20-foot, light-bulb-changing pole to the skimmer pole for the pool…thus making a 30-foot pole. Then I stood in my front yard like a total clown, trying to balance the pole in a manner where I could knock the clips off the gutter on the tippy top of my roof. After about 30 minutes, this ridiculous pole dance finally worked and the strand came down just close enough where I could jump up (because I have about a 2″ vertical jump, this part took about 15 minutes) and yank the strand down. It probably wouldn’t have taken so long if I didn’t have to drop the pole and act all nonchalant every time someone drove by.

And just when I thought Christmas was over, I noticed this while I was out hunting for lost Easter eggs today.

One remaining Christmas light clip. Damn it!

Rhonda Recommends

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Green Bags

This is not a paid deal…I just love these things. We usually throw out a lot of fruit and veggies due to spoilage, but not anymore. These grapes were 10 days old!

The only bummer about these bags is that you have to wipe them out when condensation collects, but other than that, they are totally worth the $10 (and they are reusable). It has probably saved us a small fortune since we buy mostly organic stuff.

XM Radio
I’ve had a new car since January, and I am not quite sure how I lived without XM Radio. I usually listen to the comedy channels when I am alone, but they have a great lineup…80’s, 90’s, current hits, Oprah, etc. And if you listen to Channel 154, you can hear me on a commercial for The Phil Show. (Yes, I called in and left a goofy message…I was playing with my OnStar. I promise I usually have better things to do.)

There is light at the end of the tunnel

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But no food.

I am at the end of a six-day stretch with no hubby. Luckily, between family and a few babysitters, I wasn’t totally on my own this past week. We recently hired a new babysitter, as Crazy Babysitter moved further away and isn’t readily available anymore. So, both CB and the new babysitter, we’ll call her Normal Girl, helped out one day this past week. I put together this little comparison for you.

NG: Arrived 10 minutes early
CB: Arrived 1 hour and 30 minutes late

NG: When not watching Wiggles or Mickey Mouse with the kiddos, watched local news, CNN and one talk show
CB: Watched soap operas, Maury, Tyra, and Inside Edition

NG: Ate some cheese nips, a diet coke, and a piece of candy (which I offered her). Brought her own veggies to eat for lunch.
CB: Immediately cooked herself eggs and bacon for breakfast and polished off 5 biscuits left over from our breakfast. During the day, drank nine Dr. Peppers, ate 1 pound of turkey meat, 3/4 loaf of sourdough bread, 24 Chinese dumplings, one bag of Frito’s (but I did buy those especially for her), 16 ounces of sour cream and one bag of sugar cookies (too bad for you, Anabella). For dinner, ate 1/2 of a meatloaf and potatoes. And that’s just the stuff I know about.

NG: Talks about school and family
CB: Talks about how my dog is a bad influence on her dog.

However, CB does love to do laundry, which I would never dream of asking a babysitter to do. So I guess if you add in what she should be paying me for food and what I should be paying her for laundry service, it’s hopefully about even.

The point of this story? I am so glad Dan is coming home tonight.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday — You REALLY suck now, YouTube

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As you can see below, YouTube apparently got wind of my little rant and decided to post the video to my blog 100 times. I will go delete at least a few of them later, but I wanted you all to see that it is in fact YouTube that is being a jerk, not me.

And please, for the love all things good and just, go watch the damn video if you haven’t see it already, and then tell me how great it is…because I have been completely tormented trying to post it here.