Isn’t he awesome? When you push on his ears, a cigarette pops out of his a**!
What’s really great about this purchase is that I’m not a smoker, my hubby is not a smoker …and we have done everything short of sewing lips shut in order to get our parents to quit smoking.
I couldn’t help myself!
P.S. That’s my angry chick behind him. You can’t see it, but she’s holding a pistol. Ha!
Compulsive writer has posted some lovely photos from her trip to Finland on her blog….so I was inspired to start posting a photo or two on days when I have nothing interesting to say (I realize that is hard to believe! ha.). I took this in Maui on top of Mt. Haleakala…there is nothing like seeing sunrise at 10,000 ft.
…let my dog eat baby puke? I know this is gross, but I need to get a consensus. First, let me say that it wasn’t really puke in the true sense of the word. It was more like regurgitated food. 🙂 Everything was still as it had been on the plate, and quite frankly I was more interested in cleaning up the baby…and me. So my hubby said “who cares? he’s a dog…he’s eaten a lot worse.” And while I know that to be true, it still felt wrong. I’ve kept him from eating disgusting things whenever possible…I broke him from licking Winston’s a**hole (our English bulldog)…so now I’m going to let him do as he pleases just to help me out with a little mess?
P.S. Yes, I did “look the other way” and let Frankie dog enjoy his little snack. He even licked the carpet pretty clean.
I am a bad, bad dog-mommy.
Hard to believe this sweet face would like the taste of puke.
But still pretty funny.
The bachlorette party was great. We wound up at Dick’s Last Resort for the last half of the evening and I have to admit that I had a lot of fun throwing paper at other patrons and being rude to the cute waiter.
Here is our happy bride-to-be, wearing a fabulous paper hat that unfortunately gives away her big secret….
In case you can’t read it…”I pee when I laugh.”
Other fun antics included Marjorie getting all the truck drivers to honk their horns as we drove by. (Remember how fun that was when you were like, 12?) We also had the cops on the Riverwalk harass a really drunk Carol toward the end of the evening. They wouldn’t handcuff her but they did poke her with a nightstick.
My friend Carol is getting married and we are heading to San Antonio tomorrow for a bachlorette party on the Riverwalk. Should be fun…hopefully S.A. will produce some stories as good as the Chicago trip (see “Chicago Rocks” post).
Here is something that had me laughing today…the guy who wrote this is a total hoot…make sure you read his idea for a reality TV show. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1004061iggypop1.html
Yes, I have a little thing for Jon Stewart. His sense of humor is so on the money that I just can’t stand it sometimes. Earlier this week, he was discussing the Mark Foley fiasco, which somehow led into a short discussion on Iraq. He asked “what do you get when you cross a Hellhole with a Cataclysm?”
A CATASTROF*CK.
Isn’t that awesome? I haven’t enjoyed a made-up word this much since Stephen Cobert coined “truthiness.” Of course “Catastrof*ck” is my new favorite word of all time and I will be using it as much as possible. And it shouldn’t be too hard to throw into my everyday life. ha!
I was in Starbuck’s recently (shocking I know) and there was a huge line. Everyone behind the counter was rushing around…it was total chaos. When the man in front of me got to the head of the line, the counterperson asked the usual “what can I start for you today?”
He stood there for a few seconds and then he said “how are you this morning?”
The girl froze…everything came to a complete stand still…you could almost hear the screeching of brakes. (Because of course the coffee tender can’t do anything without an order, and the pastry chick doesn’t know what to grab out of the case.) Picture a deer in headlights…times three.
She looked totally blank for a few seconds and then finally said “I’m good. How are you?”
“Great, thanks…it’s such a nice day out,” he replied. She smiled (this smalltalk was totally killing her…she almost looked like she was in pain). After a brief silence, he gave his order and everything got back to normal.
Then he turned to me (because I was laughing out loud) and said “that ALWAYS makes my day.”
Now why didn’t I think of that?
Want to know what I miss about my 20’s? Random phone calls at 2:00 a.m. from drunken friends or exs or people of “interest.” Those conversations were ALWAYS fun.
Maybe it was the unexpectedness, or the way you wound up talking about something sort of deep, or really honest, or totally off-the-wall because you were half-asleep and your guard was down, and the drunk ass on the other end was being all sweet and complimentary.
I don’t get those anymore. However I did get a 7:00 a.m. call from my friend Darla a few weeks back. She called (and woke me up) to tell me she didn’t want me calling later and waking HER up because she hadn’t gone to bed yet. But, that was just annoying, so it doesn’t count.
They haven’t called back. I guess I am not hating my life enough to be on Oprah. Fine by me. Who could deal with all the pressure of trying to figure out what to wear anyway? 😉
So, the GOOD news is that all of this self-created drama has given me an idea for a book…sort of a survival guide for women my age who are jumping into this crazy thing called motherhood.
My title would be something like “It Totally Sucks for a While…and all the other things no one tells you. The 30-something woman’s guide to being a first-time mother.”
Opinions?