“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

WTF is wrong with the Wisconsin Tourism Federation? They had THE BEST ACRONYM EVER, and then they totally went and rearranged the words in their name. So now, instead of WTF, they are TFW. Blah.



Their website (http://www.witourismfederation.org/) says they changed it so it would “no longer distract from their mission.”

WTF, TFW? Think of the clever advertising you could do with “WTF” … for example:

– “Haven’t been to Wisconsin lately? WTF!”
– “Hey France, we have better cheese than you. WTF!”

SO many possibilities.

The many faces of Scarlett’s first haircut

Similar to Scarlett’s first turn on our water slide, it was hard to tell if she was loving or hating her first haircut.


Clearly, it’s not the best style in the world, Scarlett, but you have short, baby-fine hair that’s hanging in your eyes. I had to do something.

I guess she liked the bow. Or, she was just happy it was over.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

I took a quick trip to San Antonio over the weekend, and because I was all alone in the car, I had plenty of time to notice all the weird crap on that stretch of I-10. (Texas does not disappoint in the “WTF?” department!)

WTF is this? Tacky lawn art meets “Texas-sized” crap? I don’t think I have ever seen something this gaudy on the side of the freeway. Or really anywhere, for that matter.


How would you like to work inside an ice chest all day? How many six packs do you think this holds?


This sign still confuses me. WTF does that mean? Aren’t lawyers suing lawyers every day?

Rhonda Recommends

Hung (on HBO)

I was sick in bed for most of the weekend and was able to watch the entire first season on Sunday. It’s definitely NC-17, but the characters are interesting and the story line is crazy, but possible, which makes it even more entertaining.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

Clearly this person does not watch TV. Or listen to the radio. Or read newspapers and magazines. I’m pretty sure this car was a prime candidate for the Cash for Clunkers program … it was probably even featured in the paperwork.

String to hold down the hood? Duct tape holding the side mirror on? Is there a mouse under the hood or do they just pedal this thing like Fred Flintstone? WTF? That “H” isn’t for Honda, it’s for hoopty!


The last two weeks … a pictorial

Lake trips, vandalism, drinking … there’s been a little of everything. Except blogging. Whoops.

Anabella and I went on a mommy-daughter trip to my friend Jeanne’s lake house. (It was her first experience on a boat, and being my daughter, she went right for the driver’s seat.)



The first thing she said was “that’s a LOT of water, mommy!” I could never coax her into the water, so we now own another baby pool. At least this one has palm trees.



I received a lot of feedback on my last “WTF? Wednesday.” Stasa even went so far as to try a “Chelada” (which they are apparently calling Michelada in San Antonio), and she gives it rave reviews. So I guess I will try one soon.

I also took a little time out to vandalize another coworker’s cube. He moved out, so I don’t feel too bad. And now that he is in another building, they probably took away his access to this floor, meaning no retaliation. That’s always good.

And finally, we had Scarlett’s birthday party yesterday. Pizza, cake, football, Bloody Mary’s and good friends … Scarlett throws a kick-ass party!

Happy Birthday, Scarlett!

Dear Scarlett:

You’re two today! Your babyhood has gone by in a flash, so I took the day off to celebrate with just YOU. At lunch, you were treated like a total rock star at Luby’s. Not only did they bring you a crown and a bunch of balloons, but you also had free jello and a delicious red velvet cup cake (I promise, I only had one or two small bites!). Who knew you were going to love jello so much? And of course you were completely excited to sit in a chair.

Then we went to the Children’s Museum, where you played non-stop and with no restrictions. From setting up a little tea party to playing with the world’s largest Lite-Bright, you had a blast doing what YOU wanted to do for a change.


You just recently started learning more words and how to count. It’s incredibly cute how you call everyone “daddy” if you don’t know their name. And I love how you say “lello” instead of “yellow,” “BobBob” instead of “SpongeBob” and “oh no!” for just about everything that you want us to notice.

You are completely fascinated with shoes and drinking out of big-girl glasses, but you are still a cute little baby who loves bubble baths and being rocked to sleep. It’s even endearing that you are a total daddy’s girl, because you are complete joy all day, every day … and probably the most likeable person in our family.

Happy birthday, Baby Mo! I love you more than words can say.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

This week WTF Wednesday revolves entirely around food. Wasn’t planned that way, but I am sure it has something to do with eating my feelings. Whatever.

So, WTF is this? Who drinks this? Is this a hangover cure or does someone truly enjoy beer and tomato juice? I need to know.



I took my friend Tracie some Taco Bell last week (she just had twins and isn’t getting out much … you know you are f*cked when Taco Bell is some sort of rare treat), and I noticed the packages have weird messages on them like “I collect straws” and “Will you marry me?” Tracie says they’ve been like that for years, but I guess that’s how long it’s been since my last trip to Taco Hell. Then the communicator in me got very annoyed … WTF is the purpose of this? It doesn’t make me laugh or want to buy more crappy tacos.




Finally, these immediately got my attention at the grocery store. I’m not sure what branding mini-cucumbers does for High School Musical (and it probably doesn’t help cucumbers much either) and quite frankly, it seems a little dirty to me.


— The B.S. Cafe is now serving Cheladas with snarky hot sauce and cucumber swizzle sticks.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I am hoping at least a few of you remember Ren and Stimpy. I have officially put on my happy helmet and am determined that this is going to be a fabulous week. Because last week was total crap and I cannot handle a repeat. A good friend found out she has breast cancer. Dan’s dad found out his cancer has returned. And lots of other stupid trivial things happened.

The most entertaining stupid trivial thing included me, my white pants and a mocha frappuccino. I was coming back to the office after a quick trip to Starbucks. I got out of my car and walked around toward the back, when the frappuccino slipped out of my hands, hit the concrete and SPLAT … all over the right leg of my white pants.

Me (in a very loud voice): “JESUS! F*CK!”

A voice from the distance: “Rhonda?”

Me (panicking in my head): “CRAP! You just took the Lord’s name in vein AND dropped an F-bomb in the parking garage.”

From around a car, comes my coworker Vanessa. WHEW.

Vanessa: “I knew I recognized that voice. Are you okay?” Looks down at my pants and begins to laugh. “Oh my.”

She was nice enough to walk with me through the sky walks (pretending like no big deal), and even let me hide behind her on the elevator. Thirty minutes and one entire Tide pen later, my pant leg was completely soaked, but the frappuccino was mostly gone.

The moral of the story … invest in Tide pens. Oh, and don’t cuss and act like a raging maniac in the parking garage at work.

The following portion of this blog is rated “R”
So, I took this test last week (and was so tickled by the questions that I could not stop laughing … it was as close to being completely hysterical as I have ever come … I am pretty sure my coworkers wanted to slap me), but feel I should go ahead and post my results … just in case anyone wants to mess with me and/or ruin the fabulous week ahead.

How many baboons could you take in a fight? (armed only with a giant dildo)

Created by The Oatmeal

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

This is what the last few days have been like for me. Basically a “WTF?” week … all the way around.

In fact, WTF monkey is going to be my new mascot. Whenever I post him, you know to send over some booze and comfort food.