Several months ago, Dan put Anabella and Scarlett in karate lessons. They love it … it makes them feel like little badasses … plus it teaches them discipline in addition to being great exercise.

Recently the opportunity came along to get their photos taken in their Gi (pronounced Gee). It was early in the afternoon, and it cost $90, so I figured we would just blow it off, but Dan decided he wanted to take them. When I got home and saw that they both had uncombed hair, I should have known this photo shoot went terribly wrong.

But it wasn’t until I got home and saw the following photos (which we paid NINETY DOLLARS for), that I realized just how “wrong” wrong can be.

That’s right. Those are my sweet little girls. Holding sharp objects and clearly battling dragons in Middle Earth. Or perhaps it is Armageddon? The big smiles are surprising considering they are standing in hot lava.

When I asked Dan about the background, he swore up and down that the girls chose it.

Uh huh.

But this photo is what really sent me over the edge. We didn’t order this one. The photographer gave it to us.

Considering the other photos, he probably assumed we needed some religion in our lives.

WTF Monkeys
I saw this billboard last week and was struck by the hear-see-speak-no-evil monkey cameo. Who doesn’t love monkeys … but do they say “high-end jewelry” to you?

And this is high-end. According to the website, this lovely cameo ring will set you back $3,100.

Stumped
This is Anabella’s homework from last night. Anabella is in second grade. Her mommy had/has NO idea what the answer to this question is. WTF? Elementary school – 1. Rhonda – 0.

Lost message
Drove under this on the freeway a few days ago. All I could think was “one more letter and I would be paying attention to your message and not the fact that you are clearly an idiot.” If you are going to spend this much time, while also risking your life and jail time, why not go ahead and spell all the words correctly?

Isn’t she adorable? Flat Stanley thinks so.

Kara has been a friend for a long time. She lives out in California now, but we still keep in touch … mainly through texts, but I have had the chance to see her in person twice this year.

The thing I like most about Kara is that she makes me laugh. A lot. Like a few weeks ago when I got this photo on my phone.

According to the accompanying message, her cat had too much Fancy Feast and passed out into the back-end of a stuffed dog. Dan and I had just come home from a date night, and he also had too much Fancy Feast. (Or scotch. Whichever.) So I took a photo and sent it back to her with a note that said “I staged this just for you.” (Sorry, Dan!)

The next day, Anabella was working on a school project — Flat Stanley — that needed to be mailed out of town. So, of course I thought of Kara. She would make it fun. I sent her this photo and asked her if she would mind helping Anabella.

She graciously accepted … and didn’t even point out that I was asking a woman who was nine months pregnant to do homework. And then I got this photo back.

A true “LOL” moment. I did tell her that she and her hubby Mike had way too much time on their hands. But I have to say, that was the best laugh I had in weeks.

Since Flat Stanley arrived at their house, she has been taking him all over town and sending me and Anabella photos from all his adventures. He sang with a band, performed in a magic show, hit the gym, enjoyed a spa day, visited the state capitol … he’s never going to come back.

He even went with Kara to the hospital last night, where he is waiting for her to have her first baby.

Kara, you are a great friend … and you are going to be an excellent mother!

P.S. This was one of the gifts at her baby shower. A take-off on the diaper cake, but so much hipper!