Howard Stern vs. American Idol…the most ridiculous battle of the century

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So Howard Stern wants to “destroy” American Idol. (see this article for the details… http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Entertainment/2007/03/31/howard_stern_mocks_american_idol/) Besides the fact that it is clearly a publicity stunt, this bothers me on three levels. First, I can’t stand Howard Stern. He is a hemorrhoid (I probably hate him as much as Nancy Grace, but at least I don’t have to SEE him). I especially hate that he is getting so much press over this.

Second, doesn’t he have anything better to do? There are no strippers or porn stars on AI, so why is he so interested? Wouldn’t it be nice if he channeled all this energy into something positive for a change? Not that I think he is capable of that, of course. He seems to thrive when being an antagonist.

Third, it seems like he is accomplishing his goal, which makes me totally freak out. Howard Stern has this kind of power? All he does is pimp out strippers on the radio! Why do so many people (men) listen to him? It’s frightening people, frightening.

And the absolute worst part of all is that this little campaign in ruining my grid (yes, I am gambling on AI…it’s the only reason I started watching the show this season)! So here’s hoping that Sanjaya gets kicked off tonight. The only thing worse than him being there (and me losing money because he is still there) is the fact that he seems to be buying into all the press and is getting quite cocky. It’s annoying.

Me & Technology…the love affair is back on

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Hello everyone! I’m back…and there is a new man in my life. Here’s a photo. Isn’t he cute? (don’t ask me who the goofy men are on his screen…HP sent me this photo.) He’s young and hip and totally free of issues…his real name is HP Pavilion dv9000, but I call him Gunnar…cause he’s very masculine with his black lacquer chassis.

So, while we are still getting to know each other (he has Vista, which is giving me a few problems, but we are working through it), I am so excited to be able to blog again.

Look for a new post later this evening.

Technology sucks

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If you are wondering where I am, well, I am still here…I’m just “technology free” this week. My computer bit the dust over the weekend and is hopefully being fixed as we speak. Why can’t they make the damn things more reliable? And why does it feel like I have lost a limb when my computer is gone?

So, I am just reading books, watching lots of bad TV, and doing some spring cleaning (my fridge looks fab). Hopefully I will be back to my unproductive, online self very soon.

“What the F*ck” Wednesday? — Killer food

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Toxic green onions, lettuce, spinach, peanut butter….and now dog and cat food. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I am starting to wonder what’s going on. Seriously, WTF is going on? Is anyone else thinking that nothing is safe anymore? I guess the upside is that I haven’t thought about terrorists in a long time.

Anyway, this whole pet food fiasco is really alarming to me. My most beloved pet Eddie has been going through kidney failure for the last 3 weeks. His food wasn’t listed on the recall list, but it sure is a weird coincidence. And it’s probably lucky for those people, because after $1,200 and forcing his to bear daily IV fluids, pills, etc., I would be suing the f*ck out of them. And the really irritating part is that a similar thing happened in May of last year. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10771943/ I can’t believe more care isn’t taken in the preparation of food for people and animals.

Ok, on a lighter note. WTF is up with Phil Spector and his hair? He’s pleading “not guilty” right? Because this hairdo screams “I am crazy guilty!”

There’s nothing wrong with being gay…

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…I just found this to be amusing. Mainly because there was a large stack of them in the entryway of a Mexican food restaurant not located in the gay area of Houston, which made me think that the distributors were at a loss as to what to do with them. It’s not like you list your sexual preferences on your rental agreement or home loan paperwork.

And why exactly do they need a gay yellow pages? There isn’t anything unusual in it (for the most part). Apparently homosexuals use all the same services as the heteros….accountants, lawyers, doctors, plumbers, gardeners, etc. The only main differences are that our WNBA basketball team is on the front, rather than the Rockets (are they implying those ladies are gay?), and there are listings for gay festivals and associations in the back.

Thoughts?

Happy St. Patty’s Day

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Today is my husband’s favorite holiday, which means I will be chauffeuring him to a St. Patrick’s Day party so he can get trashed. He used to start at 7:00 a.m., but as we have gotten older, the people willing to get up that early to start drinking has diminished significantly. So, wish Dan good luck in his yearly goal of drinking everyone else under the table. And send good thoughts out to me…sometimes I find myself wanting to strangle all the drunks when I am the designated driver…including my own husband.

Have a great St. Patty’s Day! Drink some green beer and watch the NCAA tournament. (Thank you, St. Patrick for letting Ohio State pull it out of their asses…otherwise my grid would have been totally fried!)

Here’s a kiss for all you Irish out there.

WTFness Everywhere!

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So much WTF going on today…I’m having a hard time deciding where to start.

First, WTF Chiquita? You didn’t tell me that my banana money was going to terrorists. I guess we are going to go apples and oranges around here for awhile.

Second, WTF WTF WTF U.S. Postal Service. Notice the postmark on this piece of mail, which I received TODAY. Feel free to take 2 months to deliver the numerous unwanted catalogs I receive every week, but please get the checks here at little sooner, A-holes. What is even more ridiculous is that this envelope was mailed from 20 miles away. And you guys want another rate hike? SHAH!


Next, there are the idiots who mailed body parts all over the U.S. How would you like to open a box that contains a head in bubble wrap? WTF? How do you manage to screw up that big?

Then there is Virgie Arthur. The mom…so loving, so concerned…so desperate to have her daughter buried near her. So what does she do at Anna Nicole’s funeral? Walks on her grave. I am no expert, but I am pretty sure that is wicked disrespectful. WTF Virgie? That behavior makes you seem just a little insincere.

Finally, Al Gore. I’m so confused, Al. The NY Times claims that you have greatly exaggerated your claims in An Inconvenient Truth. First I find out you didn’t invent the Internet, and now this? WTF Al?

It’s Rodeo Time, Y’all

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Thought all you non-Texans might like a little taste of what I like to call the “ROW-DEH–OOOOO.” (Or Rodeo, to those Texans who take it seriously) In case you didn’t know, Houston has the largest Row-deh–oooo in the world…and it lasts almost a month, which makes getting around on my side of town quite hellish. Enjoy.

These 6′ tall boots are all around the rodeo complex, painted in different themes.


This is my daughter in a petting zoo, checking out a very large, and totally indifferent, pig.


The pig races. Need I say more?

At the “show” in Reliant Stadium.

Ok, this isn’t at the rodeo (it’s at my favorite BBQ joint), but it’s too Texas-y not to include.

“What the F*ck” Wednesday? — Nancy Grace…Satan’s Spawn?

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I guess you can probably tell from the title that I cannot stand Nancy Grace. Not since Kathy Lee Gifford have I found myself despising a TV personality this way. She is a self indulgent, judgmental egomaniac. But I am sure she is really nice in person.
Every time I cruise by CNN and see her on, I stop to see what stupid comments are coming out of her mouth. She is another one of those wanna-be-hard-hitting journalists who takes speculation or rumors, and presents them as facts…until she finds out otherwise, then she is outraged and wants to know who spreads these horrible lies. She also gives airtime to just about any yahoo, which drives me absolutely crazy.

So, WTF CNN? Aren’t Larry King and Glenn Beck enough crazy for one network? At least those two are entertaining, and I don’t cringe or throw-up a little when I hear their voices.