I can’t stand it when exercise equipment is sweaty from someone else….so just the thought of finding dirty underwear in, on, or near my exercise equipment is enough to keep me away from the gym f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

Check out the link below for a story about a family that opened up their punching bag to find it full of men’s and women’s underwear…some of it “USED.” Apparently, it was quite smelly in the bag. Talk about a TKO.

Oh, and the best part is that the company representative said is was “a quality problem that they were dealing with.” Ummm…ok. How is it a quality problem when someone decides to fill your product with underwear instead of sand? Sounds more like a “dumb ass” problem to me!

http://www.click2houston.com/news/13331924/detail.html?treets=hou&tid=2658568180813&tml=hou_ent&tmi=hou_ent_1_12150205172007&ts=H

It’s been a long time since I looked over a Stat Counter report for my blog, but after careful review today I came to two conclusions.

1. Some of the searches that brought people to my site are funny, and some are incredibly disturbing….

Funny: “crazy baby sitter”

Disturbing: “rotting dog corpses pictures” (I promise I don’t have any…don’t ask me how this search turned up my blog!)

Funny: “throwing up barfing vomiting puking”

Disturbing: “sauerkraut juice” (Only Omar’s friend is supposed to care about skj!)

Funny: “accidentally took 2 prenatal vitamins”

Disturbing: “Elmo cursing” (Is their Elmo cursing at them or vice versa?)

2. When you look at the pages these searches pulled up, it’s some of the funnier stories on my blog…kind of a “Best of” The B.S. Cafe.

My babysitter eating a pound of salami, letting my dog eat baby puke, my husband accidentally taking my prenatal vitamins….it really doesn’t get any better!

It’s not often that I am completely impressed by someone I don’t know, but Jeff Ruby has definitely won my respect. In case you haven’t heard the story, he is the owner of a restaurant in Louisville, Kentucky, who refused to serve O.J. Simpson during the Kentucky Derby. (Here’s a link to the full story: http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/owner-boots-oj-simpson-from-restaurant/20070509092009990001?cid=2359)

It makes me feel good to know that somewhere in our crazy, bassackwards world, there is still justice…well, sometimes. Karma is really starting to kick O.J.’s ass, and I couldn’t be happier about it. He didn’t get to publish/profit from his ridiculous book about how he “would” have murdered Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, and now some brave man stood up and said “No! You will not be treated like a celebrity in my place of business.” So kudos to you, Jeff Ruby. It’s refreshing to see someone ACT on their values.

But, P.S….watch your back. As O.J.’s idiot lawyer, Yale Galanter, so eloquently put it “”He screwed with the wrong guy, he really did.” Apparently, O.J. isn’t above threatening people. Shocker.

The hubby comes into the bedroom around 2:00 a.m. this morning, waking me up as he gets into bed….

Me: Why are you up so late?

Hubby: I fell asleep on the couch. Next time, please turn off the TV before you go to bed.

Me: Ok, but that might have pissed you off considering that you were still watching it when I went to bed.

Hubby: Oh, well, I had a really bad nightmare. And when I woke up, one of those infomericals for Viagra or Cialis was on.

Me: And what does that have to do with anything?

Hubby: I was dreaming that my stuff didn’t work.

Me: Wow, that is scary, but I am sure your “stuff” is fine.

Hubby: Want to check for me?

Me: (silent)

Hubby: Ok, then. Sweet dreams.

Welcome to Post #101 at The B.S. Cafe. I would like to tell you that I haven’t posted for a week because I wanted to make this entry special, but the truth is that I’ve been a bit of an emotional wreck (thus the title of this post, from the Dave Mathews Band song “So Much to Say”).

So this entry will probably look like mental vomit to all of you sane and non-pregnant people, but it’s cheaper than therapy and I am usually nothing but smiley faces and kisses and puppy dogs, right?

It all started two Sundays ago. The hubby and I were in Destin celebrating our anniversary and we decided to drive by the house we got married in. We turned onto the street, and it was GONE. All that remained was an empty lot and a pool full of dirt…apparently the house was a victim of Hurricane Ivan. For some reason (pregnancy hormones?), I was really upset. Not as upset as the people who owned it probably were, but it was a special place to me…and I had big plans of a 10th anniversary celebration there with all of our closest friends. I know we can rent another place in Destin, but it sort of felt like the universe took a huge dump on the party I had envisioned in my head.

When we got home that evening, my most beloved cat Eddie (who had been suffering from kidney failure for the past few months) died. Again, I don’t know if I can blame it on hormones or not, but I was really torn up…still am actually. He had been such a huge part of my life the past 12 years…and it felt silly to be so sad over a cat, but there I was. Boohooing for days on end.

Then came my granddad’s birthday on Wednesday (he died last time I was pregnant…from kidney failure…coincidence?!). He’s been gone for 2 years, but I get teary when I think about him. His death was a surprise to me, even though it probably shouldn’t have been, and I still wish he could have met my daughter.

So come Thursday, I just needed to get really drunk. And of course being pregnant that isn’t an option, so I was forced to sit around and FEEL everything. Which made me really mad at the universe. WTF universe?! Isn’t it enough that I am tired all the time, and fat, and swollen, and just trying to be a good mommy and wife despite the fact that I have felt like crap for this entire pregnancy?

To top it all off, my favorite talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been doing her show from a hospital bed and practically bragging about how many pills she’s been taking all week (she hurt her back). I never thought I would be envious of something like that, but no one deserves a pill more than me right now….damn you, Ellen!

Congrats to Omar, who was the first to correctly guess that the ultrasound picture is of two little feet. At least it wasn’t the typical “bean” photo, right?!

In case you were wondering where I have been…this has been my “view” over the weekend.

…GIRL!

What will this little angel be getting…a sister or a brother? Find out tomorrow…