Seriously. Kindergarten is kicking our family’s collective ass. Between cut shoelaces, parent-teacher conferences (Anabella wasn’t “finishing projects” by day 6), HOMEWORK (OMG, so much homework!), morning meltdowns, evening meltdowns – I want to snatch her out and put her back in our sweet little Mother’s Day Out program.

That is our happy place where things were FUN and you could wear what you wanted and you weren’t expected to be a little academic rock star in 7 days. The only thing keeping me sane is that several people are having similar experiences, not that it makes it better, but at least I know it’s not just us.

I have a picture of me from kindergarten — dressed in a cute green dress, standing next to my BFF Cindy, holding my Banana Splits lunch box, looking oh so happy. WTF happened to THAT kindergarten??

Saw this display while shopping for school clothes.

Really, Macy’s? Someone surely “got” the inside joke, right? It doesn’t bother me on a moral level or anything — I just expect to see “kitty” panties at a different kind of store. Anabella was the one who pointed them out, because she thought it was really funny. Thank goodness she didn’t ask for a pair.

My mom accidentally bought her some sweatpants last year that had a cat’s face on the butt. Anabella tried to wear them backwards so many times that I finally had to toss the damn things. These are the things you just aren’t prepared for by any parenting books.

It’s official … my first born is a big girl. Let’s take a moment.

I actually took several today. Thinking about her as a baby, thinking about her as a toddler, thinking about her being all alone in a BIG school, not knowing anyone. AHHHHH!

Of course, she was ecstatic. Loved putting on new clothes and shoes. Totally ready for action.

She wasn’t even upset when they had her doing work as soon as she sat down. (While in my head it was “geesh! can’t we just come in and have some fun on the first day?!”)

You can safely conclude that Anabella was great. Mommy was a mess.

To make a long day even longer, Dan picked her up from school, and left his cell at home. So while I am calling and texting, trying to get an update, they are at McDonald’s, then eating ice cream, then playing in the rain. (WTF, DAN?!)

I finally get the scoop at dinner time. She really likes school. They colored and used their scissors. She knows her teacher’s name, but she can’t remember any of her friends’ names. They played on the playground. There was some trauma over a glue stick that apparently might be my fault. She had fun in the cafeteria and she likes the water fountains. (Don’t you love how random kids can be?)

But the most interesting tidbit came as I was tucking her in.

Anabella: Are we in jail?
Me: No, we are at home.
Anabella: But are some people in jail?
Me: Yes, some people are in jail.
Anabella: Because they are bad.
Me: Yes. Where did you hear about jail?
Anabella: At school.

And so it begins.