When I got home last night, Anabella and Scarlett were at the kitchen table drawing with the nanny. I picked up a few of their drawings to take a look and was really suprised to see that my children were drawing penises.
I calmly asked Anabella “what are these?” to which she replied, “It’s the monorail at Disney!”
Of course. And your mommy is a perv.
Notice anything out of place in this photo?
Maybe, the COYOTE that’s hanging around behind our fence at noon?
I’ve seen one before, but that was at 3 a.m. Not in the middle of the day, out in the common area where people play with their kids, walk their dogs, fish, etc.
WTF?
I always laugh. Loudly. Enjoy.
I found this drawing in Anabella’s backpack this morning … totally stumped on what to do. Ignore it? Ask her about it? Say something to her teacher? Do I really have to talk to my 6-year-old daughter about what a “Ho” is?! Geesh.
Thoughts? I am open to any and all suggestions!
Really? Are we wearing bandanas around our necks again?
The story behind this photo is almost as funny as a dude sporting a bandana 1800s style. I am pulling into the bank when I see this guy. Of course, I’m all “is that guy wearing a bandana around his neck?!” He heads inside, I quickly jump out of my car and go inside. I’m just about to snap a photo when the super attentive bank rep jumps up and asks to help me. She ushers me into her cubicle and we start talking about a car loan. She is putting my information in the computer, and I try to be stealth and put my phone up to take a photo before Bandana Man disappears. I look back at her, and she is looking at me with this huge smile on her face. Then she whispers “what are you doing?” Clearly we are now girlfriends. “That guy is wearing a bandana. Around his neck. Like a necklace. I have to take a photo for my blog.” She looks and says “has anyone even BOUGHT a bandana since 1980?” And we both giggle. Of course, he is probably a lovely man, and I’m going to hell for making fun. But seriously. A bandana?
Make your own speed limit?
This sign has been blank since January. It would almost be fun to get pulled over, because clearly the speed limit is somewhere between 30 and 70. And the crazy part is there are cops on this stretch of road all the time. Surely they’ve noticed the blank speed limit sign? WTF?
My dad forwarded this, and it really spoke to me today.
Recently someone in our NY office accidentally sent out an email to all users of our travel system in North America. I’m not entirely sure how many employees that is, but I would guess around 10 – 15,000. Anyway, harmless enough, right? Ignore and delete when you realize it’s a mistake. Well, my inbox started dinging non-stop from people responding to ALL over it. The first two or three were like “you emailed me by mistake.” The next 150 or so were “stop responding to all!”
Then, someone let the crazy out. Here is a sampling of the responses from that point forward…
GO LEAFS GO!!!!!!!
We should do this every Friday.
Soo …how bout them knicks. Happy Friday!
EVERYBODY, KNOCK IT OFF!!!!
This is pretty funny. keep going
STOP THE MADNESS
Please
This is Fun….Happy Friday.
I concur.
Keep it up, let’s break the record for most inbox emails!
Idiots! (this one was from a vice president!)
Happy Friday to all.
Happy Friday everyone!
BOSCO (anyone have a clue what this means?!)
You are all part of the problem…and now I am too!
since we are replying to all–anyone know a good lunch place?
What city?
A few even sent photos …
So, I stink at math, and I’m no IT person, but that had to be a major compromise to our servers (10,000 people x 200 emails in about 10 minutes would be 2 MILLION emails!). I bet they were crapping their pants. And the weird part was we never heard anything else about it. No note from corporate telling us to not act like deranged monkeys when someone accidentally sends out an email to the entire company.
What has Anabella been up to lately? Just the usual …
Showing just how grown-up she is becoming, by putting incredible mommy guilt on me for taking a work trip over Valentine’s Day …
(It says: “Dear Ronda: You weren’t here so I made you a Valentine’s day card. Love Anabella”)
Yes, now I am Rhonda instead of mommy. And I think she even misspelled my name on purpose. Everyone knows how much I hate that!
And she has been having some creative differences with her art teacher …
Oops? Sometimes I feel the school system has no appreciation for kids who think outside the box. Apparently Anabella was into body paint rather than painting on paper that day. Maybe she is hoping to get into Blue Man Group.
I had a most excellent, albeit fairly PG dream about Ryan Reynolds last night. (I didn’t realize I even liked him, but apparently my subconcious likes him … A LOT.)
So, Ryan and I are on a cruise ship. He is beautiful, of course, and I am a much better version of myself. My hair is longer and thickier, and I am in a bikini … and I look good in it. He is super sweet … we are holding hands and laughing and talking. He suggests we go for a swim.
So we dive into the ocean and frolic about a bit, when I notice my cell phone on the ocean floor. And it’s ringing. It’s my friend Kristy. Ryan looks at me and says “I’ll get it sweetie.” He dives into the water and comes back with my phone.
I tell Kristy I will call her back. Ryan kisses me gently. I open my eyes and gaze deeply into his.
Then he says …
“Mommy, I need to go potty.”
At which point, real me wakes up to see Scarlett standing by my bed rubbing her eyes.
Ah, Scarlett. One, more information than I need at 5 a.m. Two, you have awful timing.
On the way to work yesterday, I witnessed a man try to avoid rear-ending someone on the freeway, but instead he flipped his SUV twice and then landed facing traffic in the freeway adjacent to the one we were on. It was beyond surreal and upsetting to watch the entire thing happen before my eyes.
But, even more disturbing, was that the police officer in the lane next to me, DID NOT STOP. I was completely dumbfounded. He didn’t even slow down. And he definitely saw the accident because he was one lane closer and about two car lengths behind me.
I slowed down to let him pass me, so I could give him a WTF look, but he didn’t look in my direction. So, I wrote down his car number, but now what do I do? I don’t think a call to the police station would do much. My friend Tracie suggested calling one of the local news stations. As she pointed out, Transtar probably has video of the entire thing.
What do you think?