Late night ramblings

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Here it is 2 a.m. and I’m awake. I’ve been feeling slightly off – not quite crazy, but definitely off my game – for a few days now. Not sure if it’s just the medicine I’m taking (Prednisone for my Crohn’s … we have a love/hate relationship) or some combo of the meds with the general craziness in my life at the moment (work is beyond busy, Anabella is starting kindergarten on Monday, which has my emotions all over the place, etc. etc.), but I’m just not myself.

Tomorrow I am meeting several of my fabulous girlfriends for a movie (Eat Pray Love) and brunch, so hopefully that will snap me back into my normal frame of mind. Sometimes a little escape is all it takes, right?

Despite my weird mood, the girls have been highly entertaining this weekend. Anabella has a new-found love of knock-knock jokes. She doesn’t always deliver the punch line correctly, but she is perfecting her act. I’m sure it will make her very popular in kindergarten.

And Scarlett is suddenly a singing machine. She puts her own spin on things by singing in a throaty, angry tone. She’s going through her grunge period. Picture Kurt Cobain singing Wheels on the Bus. That’s Scarlett.

WTF? Wednesday

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WTF is up with the new Sun Chips packaging? If you haven’t bought one yet, you have been warned – this bag of chips is the loudest thing you will ever come across.

Last night, Dan pulled them out of the pantry and the sole act of grabbing the bag woke me up in the master bedroom (which is a long way from the kitchen). Even just putting the bag in the shopping cart was an experience. People actually turned to look and see what I had in my hand.

I am all for recycling – we recycle as much as we can – and the idea of a compostible bag is great, but this bag makes me want to say “too bad environment, I want the old crappy, wasteful bag back!” So this morning I dumped the remainder of the chips in a Ziploc and sent the bag from hell on its merry way to compost heaven.

I encourage you to at least touch one of these bags next time you are at the store. It has a special loudness to it that doesn’t compare to anything I’ve can come up with. Let’s just say it’s more disturbing than 1,000 people wading up a piece of aluminum foil at the same time. Or 20 people running their fingernails down a chalk board. It’s more irritating than those Vuvuzelas. You get the point.

You suck, Comic Sans

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Back in 2005 when I had Anabella, I joined a local “moms” club to make some friends (meaning find some people who were going nutso like I was). When the group found out I was a communications consultant, I was immediately roped into taking over the club’s newsletter. When they sent me the WORD file, the whole thing was done in Comic Sans. From that point forward, I developed a serious aversion to the font. The sign above could have been written by me. It wasn’t, but I totally get it.

I also recently came across this post about Comic Sans on McSweeny’s. I almost peed myself. Read it.

WTF? Wednesday

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I try not to talk about work or work-related things here, just cause that’s mostly boring if you don’t work with me, but today I can’t help myself. There is a person at my office that truly makes me slap my forehead and think “WTF? WTF? WTF?” at least once every few weeks.

She seems like she has redeeming qualities, in that she’s not like a total evil doer in general (I don’t expect she would boil your bunny, but then again, who knows!), but at the office, she is truly a nightmare. She’s self-serving, manipulative, sneaky — and today, just plain disrespectful to some wonderful, hard-working people who in no way deserved it. I enjoy where I work, the people I work with, and I love the things I do, and yet when this woman becomes involved, she sucks the joy out of everything.

WTF is up with people like this? So worried about themselves and their job security that they will make everyone else miserable just to survive? I mean really, aren’t things hard enough in life as it is?

So I beat the crap out of our Slam Man tonight, and am feeling a little better. And yet, I still hope she is having nightmares this evening. Or maybe even has an intestinal disorder. Or a big zit for tomorrow.

Passing on a tradition

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Anabella starts kindergarten in just two weeks! I’m excited for her (she talks about “big girl” school every day), but I’m also kind of reeling from just how fast the last five years have gone. Didn’t I just give birth to her?? People with older children always tell me that childhood goes by in the blink of an eye, and now I am starting to believe them.

My mother came over this weekend and took Anabella shopping for school clothes. My grandmother used to take me school shopping every year, and it was something we both really looked forward to. Even as she got older, and her Parkinson’s disease kept her from walking, my grandfather and I would load her into her wheelchair and head out into the craziness of the mall. She loved it.

So seeing my mom carry on that tradition with Anabella was incredibly touching. Unfortunately everything she wears has to be tan, black or blue bottoms and solid color tops, (WTF is up with the crazy dress codes?!) but she still had fun trying things on — and the highlight was the cool Keds with charms and heart shoe strings, and the new “Toy Story” panties. We really like Jessie around here. lol

We also went to lunch and had pedicures together. Mom and Anabella both got crazy bright colors and flowers painted on their big toes.

Their bond is amazing … it was one of those weekends when you really appreciate family.

WTF? Wednesday

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Parental Edition: Stop growing up so fast!
The girls were taking a bath a few days ago and Anabella announces to me that Scarlett has a boyfriend. Scarlett, who isn’t even 3 years old yet, has a boyfriend. Ummm, ok.

Anabella: Scarlett’s boyfriend is named Ethan.

Me: Really? Isn’t Scarlett a little young for a boyfriend.

Anabella: No, he is her boyfriend. And he really likes vegetables.

Me: (in my head) WTF? Am I really talking boyfriends with a 5 and a 2 year old??!?!

And the subject was dropped.

Until last night, when Scarlett grabs our home phone and brings it to me. “I want to call Ethan.”

WTF? I know kids grow up fast these days and all that crap, but who is teaching my TWO YEAR OLD that she has a boyfriend? I mean, it’s super cute when Scarlett starts talking about Ethan as soon as we get close to school — BUT it makes me feel like I now have a VERY VERY VERY long road ahead of me with two girls.

How much boy drama am I in for over the next 15 years or so??

WTF? Wednesday-ish

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Yes, it’s Thursday, but I meant to put this up yesterday.

I went to lunch at BRC yesterday. For you non-Houstonians, it’s a “gastropub” — meaning it’s pub/comfort food menu with a gourmet twist. I adore the food, and the fact that they feature a mac & cheese of the day, plus it is really close to my office.

After the meal, I excused myself to the bathroom and was PETRIFIED to discover that I could see the outline of a man who was sitting in one of the stalls. I couldn’t make out his features or see what he was up to in there, but I could see that he was sitting on the toilet, I could see his pants around his ankles, etc. WTF?? No, really. WTF??? This isn’t a crazy nightclub where things like that are shocking or cool or whatever.

I took this picture of that same guy from inside the stall I went into — I kept the lights OFF as you can tell, but you get an idea of how much you can make out. It’s not nearly as offensive when you are washing your hands obviously.

Make it stop

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The bleeding of my bank account that is. Have you ever had one of those weeks when money acts like you have a BO problem? Mine can’t get away from me fast enough at the moment. First, our cat Deuce falls deathly illl last week. Complete blockage of the bladder and near kidney failure. Three days in kitty ICU = $1,200. Then our AC downstairs breaks down Saturday night. One fan motor = $660. (Me, Anabella and two cats sleeping in a twin bed upstairs = priceless. And also sleepless.)

Now my car is pissed because it wants to be serviced and keeps dinging at me and telling me “you are 100 miles past service” so I called the dealer to make an appointment. Service for my bitchy little car – $500.

UNCLE!

WTF? Wednesday

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Hang it up, Devo
These guys made an appearance on a daytime talk show recently, and all I could focus on was their strange outfits and face/head gear. Their music wasn’t very impressive either — do they even have any other hits besides “Whip it!” ??

The Birds
So I have no issues with tattoos. I also have no qualms with birds. But this lady had the same bird tattoo in 5 places on her body. Either she is the most unoriginal tatted person ever, or this bird made a very significant impact on her life. (Sorry I couldn’t get photos of the other 3, but I was in the security line at the airport.)

Put Some Clothes On
So, I’ve seen the Naked Cowboy on Good Morning America, but I didn’t realize it was his “job.” He was in Times Square all three days I was in NYC last month. WTF? Is this really a full-time gig? If so, I guess that explains why he doesn’t have any CLOTHES.

WTF? Pet Peeve of the Week
Please someone explain to me how by any stretch of the imagination any sane person considers a Ford Expedition a COMPACT CAR???!!! WTF???

Am I still a fighter?

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This f*cking monkey doesn’t know the half of it

Appropriate, although slightly disturbing, this monkey is found at my gastroenterologist’s office. Let’s just say it’s been a rough few weeks for us both. As I’ve mentioned here before, I have Crohn’s disease — and lately, Crohn’s disease has had me. It’s had me incredibly sick, overwhelmingly sad and completely unmotivated on most days — just mad as hell on others. I try not to feel sorry for myself, because so many people in this world have things much worse, but I am so F*CKING over planning my life around the bathroom.

The interesting side of this flare-up is that I’ve never had so many conversations with God. I’ve promised some crazy stuff at 3 a.m., like not complaining about weight issues any more, just to feel normal again. I also started taking steroids (which proves I give up on being a skinny minnie) and getting intravenous injections that put me flat out for days at a time.

So that is why I haven’t been blogging much. Not that WTF? Wednesdays are the most uplifting posts, but they are better than sad posts about Crohn’s disease, right?

I will be back on Wednesday with a post — and there are some great things going on in my life despite this disease (Anabella just turned 5! I got some “press” today for my social media efforts! See … it’s not all crap! — pun intended!)