I was reading this morning that a small Texas town will be allowing teachers and school staff, who have a license and crisis training, to bring firearms to school. At first, I was like “Here is my next WTF? Wednesday!” But then as I read further, it started to seem like an idea I might entertain if I lived in this town.

The school is in an area that takes emergency responders 30 minutes to reach…and with all the things that happen in schools these days. Well, what do you think?

Here are a few links to the story:

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN1538661720080815

http://texomashomepage.com/content/fulltext/?cid=12711

The last 10 days were total crap. Just ask my husband…who has been forced to deal with all of my blubbering, waxing philosophical, and general bitchiness, in addition to his usual man-of-the-house duties.

But look what he did anyway! These showed up on my desk this afternoon and made it the best Monday ever. Somebody SO knows how to get laid.

First, they infiltrate my building. But they don’t make Mocha Frappacino’s because of the noise factor, so I haven’t been going down every day. So, they intice me with a drive-thru just a few blocks away. And now, they are pulling this crap on me.

The guy at the window lovingly handed me my receipt and said “If you come by after 2:00 today, you can get that frappacino for only $2.17.”

Damn you, Starbuck’s, and your delicious 500-calorie drinks that are only $2 after 2:00!

I have just come off the weekend from hell. Ever been through a series of events that just made you sit back and say “WTF is going on around here?”

Saturday: Get an early morning call from good friend. Her boyfriend was killed in a motorcycle accident late Friday night. Spent several hours getting a grasp on that information, then spent several hours at her house, trying to be supportive.

Sunday: Attend a Wiggles concert. No alcohol served.

So, I’m in a bit of a trance today. I want to cry…and I can’t get “Big Red Car” out of my head. Will the torture ever end?!

This will be hard to believe, but it tastes worse than it looks.

My coworker was all like “it’s so yummy…it’s like a donut hole but filled with chocolate.” I took one bite and have been sick to my stomach ever since.

Beaver Balls = Not good.

Anabella has been talking about monsters a lot lately (but not in an “I’m scared” kind of way), so I have been working very hard to assure her that monsters aren’t something to be afraid of.

However, something has happened in my subconscious, because I am suddenly afraid of everything. The other night I was brushing my teeth and when I looked up into the mirror, I saw Dan and screamed. But since I had a mouth full of toothpaste, it was more of a open-mouthed gargle that sent toothpaste all over the counter and mirror. He thought it was hysterical, but I was all like “WTF?” When did I turn into such a p*ssygirl?

Then tonight, I opened the front door to pull a flyer off the door handle, and a medium-sized spider falls onto the floor. I HATE spiders, so I stepped on him. But when I pulled my foot back, a 100 tiny spiders scattered across the floor. I screamed so loud that the neighbor walking across the street ran over and immediately helped me river dance on all those little guys. (thank goodness for cool, spider-hatin neighbors) The way my heart was racing you would think a boa constrictor just popped out of the closet.

So clearly I need help, because I just walked into the bathroom, turned on the light and let out a shriek so loud that Dan came running from the second floor, opposite side of the house. Here’s the scary monster in the bathroom.

BOO! It’s Dora the Mermaid!

On this day, three years ago, I was scared to death of something that barely weighed six pounds. But we had great moments together right from the start, including this one when she was less than a day old. It was 3:00 a.m. and she was just starring at me, sucking on her little fingers, with a look on her face that said “it’s going to fine, mommy.”

She didn’t like to sleep much in the beginning, but she sure was cute when she did.

She had a passport when she was five months old and her first stamp was from the Bahamas. She got sick almost as soon as we got there, but she loved the sand and the water, just like mommy and daddy.

Once she was crawling, it was always a challenge. She was into everything, including Winston’s butt hole (thus the boxer shorts).

But we always had a lot of fun, and being able to work from home was a blessing in more ways than I understood.

She slowly turned into a little person…with a head full of curly hair and a big smile.
And she made even the silly holidays fun and something to look forward to…

Not only did she turn us into a family, but she helped Dan and me find the joy in the small things in life.

And she impressed me with her ability to go from the only child to a loving and tender big sister (after six months of hell, of course!).

So happy birthday, my beautiful, sensitive, funny, energetic, opinionated, and big-hearted little girl. You have changed my life and filled my heart in ways I can not even describe. You are the most incredible gift I have ever received.

Last week I decided to shop my car insurance around. I didn’t really have a reason, I just suddenly felt like we were paying too much. Today, I have the results. Of the 12 companies that sent me rates….

1. 12 of 12 were cheaper than my current company.
2. 12 of 12 were more than $100 per month cheaper than my current company.
3. 12 of 12 were more than $200 per month cheaper than my current company.

We have clearly been repeatedly bent over by our current company. WTF, GEICO?!!

How is it possible that everyone else was HALF of what you have been charging me? Did my husband sleep with your high school girlfriend? Did I say something rude about your penis at a cocktail party? Because this feels really, really personal. And when I called to find out WTF your problem is, your only response was “hmmm, that is substantially less expensive.” You think?

Screw you and your lizard too!

P.S. In case you were curious, Liberty Mutual and AIG were both ONE THIRD of what I am paying…or should I say WAS paying before 12:01 a.m. today.

My best friend from high school Halle gave birth to her second daughter, Blair, yesterday. She is four hours old in this photo.

As soon as I saw her, I thought “Oh my gosh! Look how sweet! I want another one so bad!” Then the rational side of my brain bitch-slapped the emotional side, and I got over that feeling immediately.