I received this letter in the mail with my August water bill. You are more than welcome to click on the image to get a full-size, readable version, but let me sum it up for you.

Dear People who use water in Pearland —
Over FIVE months ago we started putting some crappy chemical in your water supply that will kill your fish. It will also kill you if you have kidney problems and use a dialysis machine. Good luck with that.

Sincerely,
The Dumbasses who run The City of Pearland


WTF? So, I am now curious how many fish and/or people have died so far…and what idiot didn’t think it was important to send this out, oh I don’t know, maybe BEFORE they made the change?

I have my first major complaint since being back in the Corporate world. There is some inconsiderate nincompoop sitting in a cube far, far away, that insists on popping their gum at random times during the day.

WTF, coworker? Surely you know how annoying that is. Surely you realize we can ALL hear you. Surely you are pissing off the people who sit within the vicinity of your cube, not just me, the person way down the hall. (And WTF, gum snapper’s neighbors? Grow some cahones and say something, please!)

Got any annoying office behavior to share with me?

I am walking into the building from lunch today, and as I scan my badge to open the security gate, the very large man coming in the gate next to me looks over and says, “You look like candy.”

Me: (confused face, followed fairly quickly by dirty look)

VLM: I mean you look like one of those candies. The peanut butter ones.

Me: (F-U look) Oh, okay. haha

Me in my mind: What the f*ck, VLM? Why would you say that to me? Don’t you know I can never wear this jacket again without thinking I look like a peanut butter bar? Do you realize I JUST bought this jacket and it wasn’t cheap? WTF is WRONG with you men?!

Me:

Peanut Butter Bars:

I really don’t see a resemblance.