Welcome to Post #101 at The B.S. Cafe. I would like to tell you that I haven’t posted for a week because I wanted to make this entry special, but the truth is that I’ve been a bit of an emotional wreck (thus the title of this post, from the Dave Mathews Band song “So Much to Say”).

So this entry will probably look like mental vomit to all of you sane and non-pregnant people, but it’s cheaper than therapy and I am usually nothing but smiley faces and kisses and puppy dogs, right?

It all started two Sundays ago. The hubby and I were in Destin celebrating our anniversary and we decided to drive by the house we got married in. We turned onto the street, and it was GONE. All that remained was an empty lot and a pool full of dirt…apparently the house was a victim of Hurricane Ivan. For some reason (pregnancy hormones?), I was really upset. Not as upset as the people who owned it probably were, but it was a special place to me…and I had big plans of a 10th anniversary celebration there with all of our closest friends. I know we can rent another place in Destin, but it sort of felt like the universe took a huge dump on the party I had envisioned in my head.

When we got home that evening, my most beloved cat Eddie (who had been suffering from kidney failure for the past few months) died. Again, I don’t know if I can blame it on hormones or not, but I was really torn up…still am actually. He had been such a huge part of my life the past 12 years…and it felt silly to be so sad over a cat, but there I was. Boohooing for days on end.

Then came my granddad’s birthday on Wednesday (he died last time I was pregnant…from kidney failure…coincidence?!). He’s been gone for 2 years, but I get teary when I think about him. His death was a surprise to me, even though it probably shouldn’t have been, and I still wish he could have met my daughter.

So come Thursday, I just needed to get really drunk. And of course being pregnant that isn’t an option, so I was forced to sit around and FEEL everything. Which made me really mad at the universe. WTF universe?! Isn’t it enough that I am tired all the time, and fat, and swollen, and just trying to be a good mommy and wife despite the fact that I have felt like crap for this entire pregnancy?

To top it all off, my favorite talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been doing her show from a hospital bed and practically bragging about how many pills she’s been taking all week (she hurt her back). I never thought I would be envious of something like that, but no one deserves a pill more than me right now….damn you, Ellen!

Congrats to Omar, who was the first to correctly guess that the ultrasound picture is of two little feet. At least it wasn’t the typical “bean” photo, right?!

In case you were wondering where I have been…this has been my “view” over the weekend.

…GIRL!

What will this little angel be getting…a sister or a brother? Find out tomorrow…

It’s just way too depressing in the world today…so here are a few things to lighten the mood.

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A friend on mine in Corporate America mentioned that there is a new initiative at her company (which is headquartered in France), called “Do Better and do More.”

And the logo for this fabulous new initiative looks something like this…

B&M

(insert your own joke about the French or BMs or whatever here)

And as my friend concluded…don’t forget the “paperwork” when you’re done!

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My husband plays a game called World of Warcraft. I know nothing about it, but he sent me the link to this video (featuring characters in the game), which has a universal message. It’s rated R material, so don’t go if you aren’t up for it, ok?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5430343841227974645

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And if none of that made you smile…Sangina got booted from American Idol last night, which means that Howard Stern isn’t the force he thought he was. Yippee!

When did our society get so crazy? When did people become so callous? Is it video games? Violence in movies? Chemicals in our environment turning on the crazy genes? Because it seems as though things have really gone to hell in the last 20 years or so.

When I was in high school (in the late 80’s), you didn’t have to worry about getting shot at school. You also didn’t have to worry about your husband killing you when you were pregnant. (back then, people just got divorced!)

It really makes me wonder what things will be like in 16 years when my daughter is ready to go to college. Will things just be exponentially worse? Any chance we can fix this mess? Thoughts?

My list of bad habits has been seriously shortened as of late (because I am knocked up…surprise, bloggy friends!), so instead of drinking and cussing (more about the almost two year old in my constant presence), I have taken up gambling. I have always participated in March Madness, but in addition this year I am taking part in an American Idol pool, and have also found a sudden affection for scratch-off lotto tickets.

In fact, I recently won $5,000 and a trip to the World Series of Poker on a scratch-off ticket. My husband bought it and told me to pick two of the five “tables” to scratch off. We got home, put the kiddo down for a nap, and off I went to scratch my ticket. Well, my hands were a full house and three of kind…winners!

I started jumping up and down. I won! I won! The hubby comes running over and gives me a big hug. There’s lots of talk about when we will go cash in our ticket, what we are going to do with the money, who gets to play in the WSOP, etc. Of course, all the excitement led to a little celebratory sex…and then things settle down and we go about our usual activities.

I was busy tidying up my closet when the hubby walks in…

Hubby: You have a full house on this second hand.

Me: I know! Isn’t that awesome? I can’t believe it!

Hubby: Yes, that is pretty awesome, but you know what beats a full house, right?

Me: Not much. HA!

Hubby: True, but your opponent has a royal flush. And on this second hand, they have a straight, which beats your three of a kind. Did you even look at their hands?

Me: Yes…….I mean, I thought I did……I guess…….umm……..OH MY GAWD, PREGNANCY HAS ME TOTALLY STUPID.

He laughs and walks off. (But for some unknown reason, keeps the lotto ticket, and puts it up on the wall of his office. A reminder of what almost was? Or proof that I am occasionally the moron of the family?)

Later, I called my sister-in-law to tell her the story. Her response was “well, you were a winner for an hour anyway…(short pause), but I hope you didn’t give it up before you found out the truth.”

Yeah, well…I guess that makes the hubby the big winner that day.

So Howard Stern wants to “destroy” American Idol. (see this article for the details… http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Entertainment/2007/03/31/howard_stern_mocks_american_idol/) Besides the fact that it is clearly a publicity stunt, this bothers me on three levels. First, I can’t stand Howard Stern. He is a hemorrhoid (I probably hate him as much as Nancy Grace, but at least I don’t have to SEE him). I especially hate that he is getting so much press over this.

Second, doesn’t he have anything better to do? There are no strippers or porn stars on AI, so why is he so interested? Wouldn’t it be nice if he channeled all this energy into something positive for a change? Not that I think he is capable of that, of course. He seems to thrive when being an antagonist.

Third, it seems like he is accomplishing his goal, which makes me totally freak out. Howard Stern has this kind of power? All he does is pimp out strippers on the radio! Why do so many people (men) listen to him? It’s frightening people, frightening.

And the absolute worst part of all is that this little campaign in ruining my grid (yes, I am gambling on AI…it’s the only reason I started watching the show this season)! So here’s hoping that Sanjaya gets kicked off tonight. The only thing worse than him being there (and me losing money because he is still there) is the fact that he seems to be buying into all the press and is getting quite cocky. It’s annoying.

Hello everyone! I’m back…and there is a new man in my life. Here’s a photo. Isn’t he cute? (don’t ask me who the goofy men are on his screen…HP sent me this photo.) He’s young and hip and totally free of issues…his real name is HP Pavilion dv9000, but I call him Gunnar…cause he’s very masculine with his black lacquer chassis.

So, while we are still getting to know each other (he has Vista, which is giving me a few problems, but we are working through it), I am so excited to be able to blog again.