Category Archives: WTF

Monday Fun

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The sky is falling at AIG again today, so I don’t have time to blog blog. However, here are a few things for your amusement.

Check out the Cakewrecks blog … it had me in tears last week. The “fan favorites” (in the sidebar) are the best. I especially loved Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockeys.

From the Rodeo Cookoff on Friday night (more on this later):


WTF? I don’t care if this is a rodeo, under no circumstances am I going into a door marked “heifer.” You can bite me, Mr. Porto-Sign-Maker.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

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I would like to know who DOESN’T use bathroom tissue?

Did the people who previously sent back this survey ask for an “opt out” on the bathroom tissue category?

And if someone doesn’t use bathroom tissue, do we really want their survey back in the first place?

What other hygiene products do they find useless? Soap? Water?


— The B.S. Cafe is too grossed out to serve anything today!

“What the F*ck?” Wednesday

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My entire department went to volunteer at the Houston Food Bank yesterday, where we spent three hours sorting boxes of donated food. Some of the stuff was truly disgusting (such as cans that had busted open and had nasty, moldy contents seeping out of them), and some was just weird (like an entire box full of fortune cookies, soy sauce and rice noodles), but nothing was more disturbing than this … which, of course, was in one of MY boxes.


WTF, people? This is called the FOOD Bank, not the Hygiene Bank. Please continue to donate your cranberry sauce, salad dressing and canned veggies (and lots of those little containers of fruit)…. but keep the extra personal products to yourself. We really don’t need to see that.

Good thing I was wearing those gloves.

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving that not-so-fresh feeling.

“What the F*ck?” Wednesday

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This is what everything in my office looked like after returning from my spa retreat. (At least two rolls of packing tape gave their lives for this prank.)

If it was Stephen, the person I post-it noted a few weeks ago, I would consider that office karma. But this work was perpetrated by other coworkers. Envious coworkers who wanted to spa. (Coworkers for whom I even brought back spa products!! WTF???)

So, now IT’S ON.

What should I do to retaliate? If you give me a usable idea, you will be rewarded.


— The B.S. Cafe is now serving REVENGE.

“What the F*ck?” Wednesday – Quit growing up already!

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I know people warned me … I should have been prepared, but I feel as though my babies have morphed into little people in the blink of an eye. Anabella is acting like a big sister all the time, and asking real people questions like “How was work today, mommy?” Scarlett is climbing into and sitting in chairs … unassisted. WTF? When did all this happen?


Seriously, just last week Anabella wasn’t doing anything but scribbling with crayons. Now she is making faces … faces with expressions and the correct amount of eyes and everything.

The picture below is me. WTF? I know I could stand to lose some pounds around the middle — and possibly get a tan — but do I really look like a big egg with chicken legs and red hair?


Now this picture of Dan seems right on target. Menacing look … check. Green like the Incredible Hulk … check. Horns … check. Just put some arms and legs on him, and it’s practically a photo.

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving unflattering caricatures.

“What the F*ck?” Wednesday

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This is what I was looking at yesterday morning. Today, I’m staring at a cube wall. Well, only until 1:00 p.m., but still. WTF?

More Christmas Trauma

So, this time last week I was trying to get a picture of the girls with Santa. (Here is last year’s attempt in case you don’t remember. ) After an hour wait, and Dan spending lots of time walking the girls around the mall, I finally got to the front of the line. The lady took exactly one picture before Scarlett burst into tears.

WTF? Why does Scarlett hate Santa so much? Anabella loved Santa as a baby … and look at him. Could he a better looking Santa? Scarlett wrestled around … got her clothes all askew … and then had a total meltdown. Why can’t I get one decent Santa photo out of these two??

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving stale candy canes and a mother’s broken dreams.