Category Archives: kids

Cease Fire

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I am very happy to report that we have not experienced any more poo problems since Sunday. Of course, I’ve been on Red Alert 24/7…always watching for the poo making face and reprimanding my little monkey whenever she reaches toward the back of her diaper.

However there was an incident yesterday….she ate TWO bananas for lunch. She has always loved bananas, and usually has one with breakfast, but instead of eating her fabulous Mexican lunch of chicken, cheese, rice, tortillas, etc., she just kept saying “banana” over and over. So I gave her one, which she ate very quickly and then said “more.” So I gave her another.

I would also like to mention that she was playing with her toes a lot yesterday.

So let’s take a poll…

Labor Day (Poo) Party Weekend

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The holiday took on a whole new meaning at our house this year. On Friday, my sweet little daughter found a new fun way to pass the time…playing with her own poo. I went to get her from her afternoon nap, and even though her diaper and pants were still on, little pieces of poo were everywhere.

She’s been in a toddler bed for several months now, so we have a baby gate at her bedroom door to keep her from freely roaming around at night. Apparently she wasn’t pleased with the pace at which I came to release her from captivity, so she decided to throw poo over the gate to let me know. It was like visiting the zoo and having the monkeys throw crap at you.

So after 45 minutes of “laboring” over poo cleanup, I started to get a little worried. Why does she not find this disgusting? How could I stop this from happening again? After a little online research, I found that this is a fairly common problem in toddlers (WHEW) and also found several ideas for putting a stop to the problem.

Unfortunately for the babysitter (the crazy sitter from past posts), I forgot to share all of this information and she was greeted with a similar scene when she went to get Ms. Thing from her bedroom on Sunday morning. (We were at a swanky hotel for a one-night “babymoon”.) Whoops.

Later that evening, the hubby commented that perhaps our little angel was doing this because she was immediately whisked into a bubble bath after each incident, which is her all time favorite thing at the moment.

So even though I am worried all over again (if she is this clever at 2, what is she going to be like at 16?), the idea has also helped me to get over the grody factor because now my child is a genius, not just some average poo-flinger.

Elmo Party a Complete Success

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We hired Elmo to visit during my daughter’s birthday today, and I am happy to report that only 1 out of 9 children was completely terrified. In fact, my daughter had a complete blast. She was dancing and running around like a crazy girl…it was so cute.
Elmo was accompanied by a “handler,” who orchestrated dancing and games. At one point, he was trying to get the kiddos to name the other Sesame Street characters. Anabella, who was front and center, would scream out some random noun for every picture. Then, he shows a photo of Kermit the Frog…
Handler: Who is this?
Anabella: (points) YOUR BABY!
All the parents burst out laughing.
Handler: MY baby? Hmmm….I need to get my money back.
Friend standing next to me: Poor guy, he just got slammed by a 2 year old!

P.S. Omar, I have accepted your challenge and am now eating my third piece of cake. Not sure I can beat your 17, but I am willing to try!

Ms. Thing Turns 2

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That’s right…my little baby turned two today. Just look at how she has changed!

We are having her party this weekend (Elmo is coming over to entertain 10 little ones…should be interesting!), but we all took the day off and spent it together.

The highlight of the day was a visit to the Butterfly Museum. My poor husband spent the entire time chasing our daughter around as she chased butterflies around, while I got to use the pregnancy card and leisurely strolled around taking photos. Enjoy.



Isn’t that the cutest little bird? And he had himself a big wiggly worm for lunch. This is just the “tail end” of the meal.

Bath time trauma

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Not that long ago, my babysitter (the salami eater) asked me how many times my daughter had pooped in the tub. “Never!” I said with much disgust. “Well, it happens all the time,” she informed me. (She does this a lot…tells me all the things that my kid is going to do, even though she doesn’t have any.) My daughter had just passed her one-year birthday, so I just rolled my eyes, and went about my business.

Now I am not saying for sure that she put a Poop Curse on me, but let’s just say we have had several incidents of pooping in the bathtub since that night. And tonight was by far, the top pooping story of my short-lived career as a mommy.

I undressed my daughter, put her in the tub, and turned on the water. Not 30 seconds later, she poops. Ok, no big deal. It is contained to a very small area, so I grab her out, and put her on the mat next to me.

As I am feverishly saving toys from floating into the disaster area, she squats, and poops on the bath mat. WHA?? CRAP! So, I grab her, wipe her little butt with a baby wipe, and then head over to snatch up the mat before she gets any crazy baby ideas.

I of course do not notice that she is heading in a completely opposite direction….into my closet. Before I can even get there, she has squatted yet again, and pooped on the carpet in my closet. And then she takes about three steps, and poops again.

Surprisingly, I did not cry. I didn’t laugh, but I didn’t have a meltdown. I calmly called my hubby into the bathroom to pick up poop piles while I hosed my little angel off in the shower.

So, there are two morals to this story: 1.) parenting know-it-alls are secretly working voodoo on the rest of us, and 2.) Do not ever assume that the pooping is done. There is ALWAYS more poop.

Don’t Say as I Say

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Everything was perfect as I was driving my daughter to Mother’s Day Out this morning. The air was brisk, the sun was out, I had a hot coffee in hand (the new Starbuck’s has a drive-thru…hooray!), and my sweet little daughter was babbling and giggling in the back seat.

Then a man who was apparently scared of his accelerator pulls out in front of me, and insists on going very, very, VERY slooooooowwwwly. Several blocks go by, before I just totally lose it. I like to call this side of my personality Rhonda the Rage Rover.

Me: “DUDE, MOVE YOUR F*CKING CAR!!!!”

From the carseat: “DUUUUUDE!”

Of course I burst out laughing. It was like having a little Keanu Reeves back there. And while I love it when she adds a new word to her repertoire, clearly I have not come to terms with the fact that she is not only a sponge, but also a parrot. Shame on me and my potty mouth. Shame!

So it’s just a matter of time before she pulls out the f-bomb. With my luck, it will probably be at my in-laws house over Christmas.

No Time to Make a Postcard…

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…so I am confessing my deep, dark secret to you instead of Postsecret.com or my husband (who hopefully is not reading my blog today).

Back story: The hubby and I pride ourselves on feeding our daughter quality, healthy foods. We figure she has plenty of time to eat bad stuff later. So we try to buy organic whenever possible, no juice or soft drinks, lots of fruits and veggies, nothing deep fried, and no crap (such as Lean Cuisines with 14.1 percent chicken)…until this week.

Here are the things my daughter has tasted this week.

1. Mocha Frappuccino (She was screaming and pointing at my cup, so finally I got frustrated and let her take a sip….she didn’t like it. Whew.)

2. Sprite (Just one sip…she burped three times)

3. Chocolate chip cookie (The whole thing. She loved it. She licked her fingers and picked the crumbs off her shirt.)

4. Cat food (She got to the bowl before I could catch her. I think she only ate one piece, but she seemed to like it better than the mocha frap.)

So there. I guess I win the Bad Mom of the Week Award. Hooray.

Pukefest 2006 continues

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My poor little baby has been the host to some nasty stomach virus for several days now, which has resulted in LOTS of puke in my life (see October 19 post…when the puke is gone, I promise to quit talking about it.) The last time she threw up was on Sunday, so we put her back on her normal diet and all seemed well.

Well tonight she starts getting a little whiny, so I pick her up and she gives me one of her sweet little hugs, then BAM…I am covered in throw up. Nice.

My hubby quickly rushes her into a bath, and as I am de-funking myself, I notice grapes stuck to my shirt. (gross, I know) Then I remember, she hasn’t had any grapes in weeks….hmmm, how is that possible?

They were raisins! Isn’t that interesting? I guess they rehydrate in the stomach, and TADA…they are grapes again.

Can I get you a snack?