I was at the bank last week, and this animal was hanging out in a field in between a subdivision and the back of the strip center. At first, I thought it was a beaver…which of course would have been totally out of place. But when he took off (cause the weird lady with the camera scared him), I noticed he had a long, skinny tail.
Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry I’ve been away so long, but Anabella was home full time for the last two weeks, and I’ve barely had time to shower. You know how that goes.
The only exciting thing that happened is that my car turned itself into a low rider on NYE (the air suspension died and the car lowered all the way to the ground and wouldn’t come back up!) and is now back in the shop for the SIXTH time since October (note: do NOT keep a Land Rover for more than 70K miles!).
So I bought a new Hummer last Saturday! Here it is…
Isn’t it cute? I know it’s a bit BIG, and maybe sort of a gas guzzler, but I love it and I don’t care. I recycle practically everything, and my hubby works on all kinds of save-the-environment projects…I am doing my fair share. And if you think about it, we actually downgraded from the H1 to the smaller H2. So don’t give me a hard time.
Besides, I needed to get back on Al Gore’s shit list for having all three of things below.
(Note: I wouldn’t call my house a McMansion, but it definitely looks more like house #1 than house #2.)
So what is happening with all of you?
Here is a list of interesting things I have seen over the past few weeks, but was unable to get a photo of…due to driving a car, lack of quick reflexes, or whatever. It always haunts me when a good blog photo gets away, so just close your eyes and use your imagination…
– A little squirrel (a teenager, not a full-grown squirrel) holding a giant donut in his cute little paws and eating away.
– A dirty, scraggly homeless man, pushing a grocery cart down the street in his Michael Vick football jersey.
– A Whitney Houston look alike (but probably in her 60’s) dressed in 80’s workout gear (think leg warmers), alternately walking like a chicken, dancing, and then stretching by the side of a busy road.
And one from my friend Kim…
– A guy riding a motorcycle with a Barbie doll pasted to the seat behind him, as if she was his girlfriend.
My two year old has been sick since Friday with a cough and runny nose. She came down with a fever last night, so we needed to give her some Tylenol. The funny thing about this age is that you can no longer just squirt the liquid stuff down their throat or hide it in their milk. You have to try and reason with them about why they should suck on the yucky grape quick dissolve tablet. Luckily, I was nursing the baby, so my husband took on the task. To say it was comical would be an understatement.
ATTEMPT #1
Dan: Anabella you have to take this.
Anabella: NO WAY.
Dan: It will make you feel better. Please.
Anabella: NO WAY.
Repeat five or six times.
ATTEMPT #2
Dan tries to force it into her mouth. Anabella tightens lips.
ATTEMPT #3
Dan tries to break tablet and force into her mouth. He manages to pry it in between her lips. But then Anabella spits it out on the carpet. (Me: THANKS!) And now she is pissed. And crying.
ATTEMPT #4
Dan gets new tablet.
Dan: I am going to put this on the counter and you need to eat it when you are ready.
5 minutes later and the tablet is still untouched….
ATTEMPT #5
Dan: Anabella if you take this medicine, you can have a vitamin. (They are gummy bears and she loves them.)
Anabella: NO.
Dan holds vitamin and Anabella tries to grab it.
Dan: Eat this first, then you get the vitamin.
Repeat three more times.
Anabella finally puts tablet in her mouth and grabs vitamin.
Dan: Well, I guess Daddy won that one.
Dan smiles and leaves room.
Anabella spits out remaining tablet on floor and eats vitamin.
I had a big “WTF? Wednesday” planned yesterday, but then I went to HEB for milk and discovered this…
“It’s just wine,” you say.
“NO!” I exclaim. “It’s freedom!”
Freedom to purchase wine in the neighborhood I live in. That’s right folks. Up until LAST NIGHT, I could not purchase wine unless I drove out of this county.
Don’t ask me how I managed to move into a dry county in the first place, but I did redeem myself by dragging my butt to the polls in November to vote “yes” to wine sales and “yes” to being able to purchase a cocktail while dining out. And yes, I was up to my neck in children, and my husband was out of town, but a woman has to get her priorities straight.
So, WTF Wednesday was preempted by a bottle of Chianti.
Nothing healthy apparently. Yes, this is a “snack size” package of marshmellows. I admit to throwing in a package of goldfish, Cheese Nips, even Teddy Grahams or maybe some little cookie crisps into Anabella’s lunch, but I find this ridiculous. To me this says that we have officially given up. I didn’t check, but I am fairly certain there is no nutritional value in marshmellows, especially the ones they used red dye on to make them “strawberry.”
So, I am going to pass on the fancy packaging. I’ll just put some sugar packets and a sippy cup full of chocolate syrup into her lunch box tomorrow.
From the funny farm.
