Category Archives: Uncategorized

Craziness at work

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Recently someone in our NY office accidentally sent out an email to all users of our travel system in North America. I’m not entirely sure how many employees that is, but I would guess around 10 – 15,000. Anyway, harmless enough, right? Ignore and delete when you realize it’s a mistake. Well, my inbox started dinging non-stop from people responding to ALL over it. The first two or three were like “you emailed me by mistake.” The next 150 or so were “stop responding to all!”

Then, someone let the crazy out. Here is a sampling of the responses from that point forward…

GO LEAFS GO!!!!!!!

We should do this every Friday.

Soo …how bout them knicks. Happy Friday!

EVERYBODY, KNOCK IT OFF!!!!

This is pretty funny. keep going

STOP THE MADNESS
Please

This is Fun….Happy Friday.

I concur.

Keep it up, let’s break the record for most inbox emails!

Idiots! (this one was from a vice president!)

Happy Friday to all.

Happy Friday everyone!

BOSCO (anyone have a clue what this means?!)

You are all part of the problem…and now I am too!

since we are replying to all–anyone know a good lunch place?

What city?

A few even sent photos …

So, I stink at math, and I’m no IT person, but that had to be a major compromise to our servers (10,000 people x 200 emails in about 10 minutes would be 2 MILLION emails!). I bet they were crapping their pants. And the weird part was we never heard anything else about it. No note from corporate telling us to not act like deranged monkeys when someone accidentally sends out an email to the entire company.

So Ryan Reynolds and I are on vacation …

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I had a most excellent, albeit fairly PG dream about Ryan Reynolds last night. (I didn’t realize I even liked him, but apparently my subconcious likes him … A LOT.)

So, Ryan and I are on a cruise ship. He is beautiful, of course, and I am a much better version of myself. My hair is longer and thickier, and I am in a bikini … and I look good in it. He is super sweet … we are holding hands and laughing and talking. He suggests we go for a swim.

So we dive into the ocean and frolic about a bit, when I notice my cell phone on the ocean floor. And it’s ringing. It’s my friend Kristy. Ryan looks at me and says “I’ll get it sweetie.” He dives into the water and comes back with my phone.

I tell Kristy I will call her back. Ryan kisses me gently. I open my eyes and gaze deeply into his.

Then he says …

“Mommy, I need to go potty.”

At which point, real me wakes up to see Scarlett standing by my bed rubbing her eyes.

Ah, Scarlett. One, more information than I need at 5 a.m. Two, you have awful timing.

WTF? Wednesday

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On the way to work yesterday, I witnessed a man try to avoid rear-ending someone on the freeway, but instead he flipped his SUV twice and then landed facing traffic in the freeway adjacent to the one we were on. It was beyond surreal and upsetting to watch the entire thing happen before my eyes.

But, even more disturbing, was that the police officer in the lane next to me, DID NOT STOP. I was completely dumbfounded. He didn’t even slow down. And he definitely saw the accident because he was one lane closer and about two car lengths behind me.

I slowed down to let him pass me, so I could give him a WTF look, but he didn’t look in my direction. So, I wrote down his car number, but now what do I do? I don’t think a call to the police station would do much. My friend Tracie suggested calling one of the local news stations. As she pointed out, Transtar probably has video of the entire thing.

What do you think?

Strawberry Shortcake has slutty friends

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I was online ordering a cute little Strawberry Shortcake costume for Scarlett, and came across several previously unknown friends of Ms. SS.

Meet Blueberry Muffin …

and Lemon Meringue …

This is the kind of stuff that bothers you when you become a mother to daughters.

It’s like “just wait, Scarlett … when you grow up, you can be this Strawberry Shortcake!”

WTF? Wednesday

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Kindergarten was a bumpy road for us, and the last day proved to be no different. Dan didn’t have a car that day, so he walked Anabella to school in the morning. Well I guess Ms. Thing decided she was a “walker” and got into the walker line at the end of the day and marched right out of the school all by her little lonesome. Out. Into the neighborhood. Alone. My FIVE year old. Are you f*cking kidding me, kindergarten?!

She made it home safely. And thank goodness Dan was home, because I’m not sure what her next decision would have been if he wasn’t. But needless to say, I totally freaked out. I spent at least two hours thinking of all the horrible things that could have happened to her on the short trip to our house. Then, I called and left a heated message at the school.

After FOUR days of radio silence, I sent an email to the prinicipal. She responded promptly, and said all the right things, but I am STILL waiting on her investigation results — I mean seriously, WTF? How did that happen? Anabella has been going to YMCA aftercare every other day of the school year. Stupid f*ckers. Yes, I am still completely worked up after a week and a half. It just makes me wonder exactly how safe our kids really are at school.

Okay, so anyway. I was in LA a few weeks ago for work and came across this sign in the kitchen of our offices.

Sorry it’s blurry but I was laughing pretty hard when I was taking the photo, because I had asked the security guard who was also in the kitchen what the story was behind the sign, to which he replied in a deep Southern accent “who the hell knows with these people.” He continued to tell me it was probably something to do with animal rights or organic farming. ha! Turns out he was from Oklahoma, and although he had lived in LA for many years, he wasn’t impressed with the “natives.” According to my friend, not only are they weird about food, but they also can’t drive in the rain. So there you have it.

WTF? Wednesday

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I know you are all probably wondering WTF has happened to me. Well, this is day 19 of Dan having pneumonia. So I’ve been a single parent and nurse for almost three weeks. And yes, it is kicking my ass. (Huge kudos to all the single parents in the world — I have no idea how you do it.) And, of course, I am beyond worried about Dan. He is having a catscan of his chest today, so hopefully that will give us some answers. More later …

WTF? Wednesday

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I’m so annoyed by the little things this week. My first WTF is that our home has been completely invaded by ants. Is this happening to anyone else in Houston? We put the granule stuff on the beds we found, and all around the perimeter of the house, then we bought the little ant hotels (the child-safe ones) and put those in the high ant-traffic areas. But they won’t go away. They just move around. Yesterday I sat down on the tub surround while getting dressed and a few of the little bastards got into my undies and bit me on the ass. WTF?! I’m way over the ants and welcome any suggestions. Oh, and the dog keeps trying to eat the ant hotels.

I’m also constantly thinking “WTF?” this week when it comes to my car and all of its fabulous technology.

The stupid electronic tire gauge has lost it’s effing mind. Every morning when I get up, it gives me a red warning that all my tires are too low. When I come out of my office in the afternoon, it gives me another crazy red warning that all my tired are over inflated.

WTF? Is this really smart technology? I know it’s the 20-degree difference in our morning and afternoon temperatures at the moment, but what am I supposed to do? Put air in my tires every morning and let some out every night. That’s incredibly convenient. And I’m also really sick of the little exclamation mark that never goes away. Shut up already, car!