This is what happens when I get bored and/or ancy. (Luckily for my corworkers it doesn’t happen too often). The best part of this prank, besides the hour of giggling while post-it-noting everything in sight, was the email I received the next day from the victim.

I will preface this by saying that 1.) like many corporations, our help desk is located in India. And just about everyone here would rather stab themselves in the eye than call the help desk, 2.) we still Lotus Notes as our email system, and 3.) if you’ve never called a corporate help desk, you will not find this at all funny and should move on to your next blog.

I love working with creative people ….

TRANSCRIPT
BEGIN CALL 2008-12-19 0747
S.PATEL: Thank you for calling AIG Technical Support. Can I get your Name and ID please?
CALLER: Stephen Bedford, U38PS08
S.PATEL: Thank you very much for that Mr. Culford. For verification purposes, what was the name of your mother’s first cat?
CALLER: Uh, hold on a minute. Let me look that up. Sunshine
S.PATEL: Thank you very much for that Mr… Steve. How can I help you
CALLER: My computer is covered in post-it notes
S.PATEL: I see. You want to post something to a drive?
CALLER: No. My computer, my keyboard, my mouse, everything is covered in post-it notes.
S.PATEL: I see. Please hold on for one moment
S.PATEL: I see. I need to transfer you to our Notes group. Please hold.
CALLER: No. Not the Notes group! Not Lotus Notes, post-it notes. My entire workstation is covered in post-it notes.
S.PATEL: I see. Have you tried to re-boot the system?
CALLER: It was off when this happened.
S.PATEL: I am understanding you correctly that something bad happened to your computer while you were away?
CALLER: Yes. I was out of the office for the afternoon picking up my child from school.
S.PATEL: We need to file a security report for this malicious activity. What is your location?
CALLER: AT-35. But I don’t think it is malicious.
S.PATEL: Are you able to use your computer?
CALLER: Well, no. Not without removing the post-its.
S.PATEL: So something has been installed onto your computer that must be removed prior to you being able to work, is that correct?
CALLER: Er, yes.
S.PATEL: Please hold while I speak with my director. This is quite serious Mr… Laford.
S.PATEL: Mr….I have been informed that nothing is wrong.
CALLER: What?
S.PATEL: A security patch was installed last night. You should have received a notification of this. Nothing is wrong.
CALLER: Uh, ok.
S.PATEL: Thank you for your call. Is there anything else I can help you with?
CALLER: No. I guess all is good. Thank you.
S.PATEL: Good bye.
END CALL
END TRANSCRIPT

So we had some real excitement at my office this past week. It started around 5 p.m. when the smell of burnt popcorn filled the air … really filled the air. Less than a minute later, the fire alarm goes off and the loud and unintelligible voice of security comes over the intercom and tells us to “go to the stairs … blah blah blah … evacuate.”

While we all pondered whether or not to actually leave, our department head comes by and says something about setting a bag of popcorn on fire. HA! No way! Now we are all very amused and not the least bit worried about dying in a high-rise blaze. (Granted it’s time to go home, but the elevators have been shut down and we are on the 35th floor.)

Apparently someone did call security to let them know what happened, but that didn’t stop them from sending 17 (SEVENTEEN!) emergency vehicles to our building. (Although, you can only see 11 in this photo … sorry for the sucky quality, but that’s the best my iPhone could do from the window, at sundown.)

This is the person responsible (our boss), hiding in her office in shame.


5:35 pm – The firemen arrive on our floor. So thank goodness it wasn’t a real fire, or we all would have been toast. I counted seven of them, but there may have been more. I was trying to be inconspicuous with the photo taking.

And here is the culprit. I wonder how much this bag of popcorn really cost in the end?

The biggest lesson learned was … I am way too lazy to walk down 35 flights of stairs. And that popcorn only takes about 2 minutes to cook in our office.

P.S. The title comes from a coworker who called up to make sure we were all okay.

— The B.S. Cafe is now serving popcorn … well done.

My main task at work over the past week has been responding to angry emails. Sometimes it’s nice, because I can change a person’s perspective and make them feel better about AIG, other times I get really nasty responses that make me feel like total crap.

The last email I read before leaving yesterday afternoon (to go buy a million dollar battery for the Range Rover) said something like “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. Your response is the lipstick, and your company is the pig!” Nice. And of course I can’t respond back with what I REALLY want to say, so I internalize all that crap and go on with my day.

When I got to the RR repair shop, I sat down and noticed this across the room.

How cute is that? I don’t know why, but seeing this table full of homemade goodies totally changed my mood. Binoculars made from toilet paper tubes…only 50 cents! How about a paper purse for two bucks? Need to brush up on your math? Take a quiz!

The owner’s daughter is 8 years old, and apparently she restocks her little “shop” quite often. And she’s made over $80 so far. How is that for being a little entrepreneur? So I bought a drawing of a butterfly and decided that Mr. Lipstick just needs a different perspective on things.

HR Chick: Can we jazz it up some? Maybe make it a little more salesy, you know, add some sizzle…some jazziness. If we could make this introduction a little more jazzy, I think it would be great. Just jazz up the company stuff and add a really cool, jazzy section about what a career in that department can do for them. The whole thing just needs to have more JAZZ.

Things That Are Cool About Going Back To Work Week – Conclusion

The best thing, so far, about going back to work…the mental challenge? No. Meeting new people? Nah.

It’s having my husband tell me how good I look every morning when I leave. My favorite comment was “Everyone is going to want to DO you!”

Slightly crass, but 1.) I don’t mind crass, and 2.) it makes me feel like I might be on my way to MILF status.