The biggest WTF this week is that Dan has pneumonia … again. For the second time in three years. It seems so unlikely, considering he is only 41 and has only been really ill twice in the 15 years I’ve known him. And the last time was during the holidays as well. I’m not saying it’s intentional, but he’s definitely our own personal Grinch. 😉

So … I’ve put together some recent photos for WTF Wednesday to distract myself from nursemaid hell.

We recently went to Michigan, and our rent car had this little “warning” sign that kept popping up on the speedometer.(Look near the 10 mark. Click if you need to enlarge.)

Is that a coffee cup? Were we running low on caffeine? I meant to look it up in the manual, but forgot, so if you have a clue, please leave a comment.

Then there was this lady on the Parking Spot shuttle.

Have you ever seen so many bracelets? All I could think was 1. it’s really loud when she moves. And 2. Those have to be wicked heavy.

Once home, I was switching purses and noticed several “treasures” that clearly didn’t belong to me. How did wiggle eyes and the lid to a teapot find their way in there? And, did I really carry a teapot lid all the way to Michigan and back?!

And finally, there’s this. When I saw this guy, it took me several seconds to figure out exactly what was going on with his head.

He was sweet enough to let me take his photo, so the real WTF here is why are we all spending so much on Bluetooth when all we need is a rubberband?

This past summer I ordered something from SkyMall, and have been receiving all kinds of cheesy catalogs ever since. A few weeks before Halloween another load of catalogs arrived, and the one below caught Anabella’s eye. She decided we should look through the catalog and pick out our favorite thing on every page. So we flipped through, page by page, her pointing out things she liked and me doing eyeball rolls in my mind. (The clothes are not exactly my style, or probably anyone’s style for that matter.)

And then, we got to page 34 ….

Yep. Right in the middle of a woman’s clothing catalog. A full page spread of vibrators and dildos. WTF? Seriously. WTF?

Of course I was completely shocked. And I certainly didn’t want to have THAT conversation, so I quickly threw the catalog across the room. Anabella was completely stunned (she was probably thinking WTF? herself!), so I distracted her by saying “Let’s go get some ice cream and watch SpongeBob!” Worked like a charm and everything was right in the world again.

However, WTF Pyramid Collection people? I didn’t ask for your catalog, and the least you could do is add some sort of disclaimer to the front if you are going to sneak a page of adult toys and S&M jewelry into the middle.

I was recently reading an article in the Wall Street Journal about the new trend in socks … which is apparently super fancy and expensive  (yeah, I’m not sure what attracted me to the story either). This is one of the sock lines they showcased:

I wasn’t really buying the fancy sock thing anyway, but now they’ve completely lost me. I’m not a particularly fancy girl … except when it comes to purses and sunglasses … but I can assure you that cured meat does not scream “fancy.” If you paid $10 for these, you are a dumbass.

Also recently came across this chair while looking for some new family room furniture.

Really? The WOMB chair? First, I think I find that sort of gross and offensive (and I can guarantee a woman did not name this chair). Second, how proud are they of this thing? $3K for an ugly red chair. WTF?

And finally, I found this gem on Facebook:

Why didn’t I come up with this? I am totally inspired to carry chalk in my car. I’ll keep it right next to these.

Ok, it’s not Wednesday, but this was supposed to be published on Wednesday, so it still counts.

I saw several cars this week that made me think “WTF?”

This one wins the prize. Granted, we all support our troops and our military should take great pride in serving their country. However, pride can go a step beyond and become cuckcoo. Case in point:

Click on the photo if you want to see this in all its glory. He’s got decals, flags and all kinds of goodies in the back window.

I love my car, but my car is a THING, not a person. Please quit giving your car eyelashes, and in this case, a NOSE.

This one really stumped me. I’m not a big fan of personalized license plates, and this one is another example of why. Is he really confused for Greg so often that this was necessary?

And finally, this one is just for fun. It’s rated R, so make the kids leave the room. Someone posted this on Facebook and it had me laughing so hard that Dan came in the room to ask what was going on. 😉

WTF is up with all this stuff, Justice?

Don’t get me wrong. I love bacon. But if we glorify fatty food by turning it into jewelry and lipstick, can we really be surprised that our kids have a weight problem?

WTF is up with this place? Is this the most bizarre dental office ever?

(click for larger version)
Being a dental office, I’m not sure what is up with the big ass apple and all the Greek goddesses. Clearly this person is confused. He likes fruit, he likes the ladies, so surely we can incorporate all that into our decor, right? (I say “he” because I doubt any woman would have signed off on this mess.) Perhaps he should have taken the advice of Coco Chanel and removed one item when he was done. I’m thinking the apple.

I only have one word for this (besides WTF? of course) and that would be YUK.

Why are you trying to scare the shit out of me?” edition

Three things I have found disturbing lately ….

#1 Creepy lady (click photos for larger version)

I don’t typically like to make fun of the way that people look. It’s not cool. But, I gasped when I saw this lady … she was startling. Not sure if it was the super crazy beehive/rat’s nest hair-do or the over-the-top makeup, but someone should be a good friend and tell her that she needs to take it down a notch. Even just one or the other!

#2 The last place I want to use the bathroom

For those you in H-town, this is currently on Allen Parkway for the use of the poor guys doing road construction. For those of you not from Houston, I call this street “The Road of Bad Decisions.” I’ve been driving to and from work on it for nearly five years, and I cannot tell you how many wrecks I have seen on this winding road. MANY of which involve someone launching his or her vehicle over the median into oncoming traffic. Therefore, I would nominate this for the scariest bathroom ever. I would rather pee myself.

#3 Woman who likes to scare small children

I call her this because she was at Disneyland, known as “the HAPPIEST place on Earth,” not “the place where I have to explain to my children why you have an EYEBALL in the middle of your hair flower.” (I also enjoy the ice cream cone tattoos topped with skull heads. That will make those children rethink frozen treats.)

Seriously, WTF? Who would wear something like this to a place packed with sweet little kids who just want to hang out with princesses and meet Mickey Mouse? And adding the butterfly doesn’t make it better. That’s just more disturbing.

So which do you find the scariest?

My worst nightmare …needing to brush my teeth and only having this.

Are we stuck with him forever???

I’ve recently noticed a plethora of crap at the grocery store that makes no sense to me. Things flavored to taste like other things … to make really unappealing new things.

For example, potato chips that taste like ketchup. Really? Does anyone over the age of five like ketchup that much? Or “rib” flavored potato chips. WTF? If I want ribs, I’ll get ribs.

The one that really threw me was the pina colada marshmellows. That makes me throw up a little just thinking about it. I’m no baker, but I am pretty certain there is no good use for those nasty things.

Seen anything equally as crazy?