Category Archives: WTF

WTF? Wednesday-ish

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Yes, it’s Thursday, but I meant to put this up yesterday.

I went to lunch at BRC yesterday. For you non-Houstonians, it’s a “gastropub” — meaning it’s pub/comfort food menu with a gourmet twist. I adore the food, and the fact that they feature a mac & cheese of the day, plus it is really close to my office.

After the meal, I excused myself to the bathroom and was PETRIFIED to discover that I could see the outline of a man who was sitting in one of the stalls. I couldn’t make out his features or see what he was up to in there, but I could see that he was sitting on the toilet, I could see his pants around his ankles, etc. WTF?? No, really. WTF??? This isn’t a crazy nightclub where things like that are shocking or cool or whatever.

I took this picture of that same guy from inside the stall I went into — I kept the lights OFF as you can tell, but you get an idea of how much you can make out. It’s not nearly as offensive when you are washing your hands obviously.

WTF? Wednesday

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Hang it up, Devo
These guys made an appearance on a daytime talk show recently, and all I could focus on was their strange outfits and face/head gear. Their music wasn’t very impressive either — do they even have any other hits besides “Whip it!” ??

The Birds
So I have no issues with tattoos. I also have no qualms with birds. But this lady had the same bird tattoo in 5 places on her body. Either she is the most unoriginal tatted person ever, or this bird made a very significant impact on her life. (Sorry I couldn’t get photos of the other 3, but I was in the security line at the airport.)

Put Some Clothes On
So, I’ve seen the Naked Cowboy on Good Morning America, but I didn’t realize it was his “job.” He was in Times Square all three days I was in NYC last month. WTF? Is this really a full-time gig? If so, I guess that explains why he doesn’t have any CLOTHES.

WTF? Pet Peeve of the Week
Please someone explain to me how by any stretch of the imagination any sane person considers a Ford Expedition a COMPACT CAR???!!! WTF???

WTF? Wednesday

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I’m back! Lots to share, but for now it’s 11:40 p.m. and I need to get a WTF? Wednesday up!

I love mopeds. My first method of transport was a moped — my first driver’s license was Class M and I had two mopeds when I was 15 (one looked like a bicycle with an engine and the other was a fancy new Honda that was made entirely of plastic). When I saw this guy driving through downtown, I thought “cool!” But then I noticed his moped had a SIDECAR. WTF?

Mopeds are dangerous enough for the driver — I can’t imagine being shackled to the side in a plastic bowl.

On a recent trip to Texas Art Supply, I came across this:

I don’t know how Jesus feels about it, but it seems a little wrong to me. When Dan and I went to the Vatican, we were shocked at the amount of crap they were willing to put the Pope’s face on. But, that’s just the Pope. This is Jesus!

Of course, I bought it anyway. We plan to move soon, so I will test the Jesus tape’s power with an experiment — put some highly breakable stuff in a box without wrapping it and see if it makes to the new house in tact. Maybe movers will be more careful if my stuff is wrapped in heavenly tape.

WTF? Wednesday – I am 40!

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Yes, I know I hardly look a day over 38, but I am now the big 4-0.

The last few weeks have been really hard on me. I’ve been engaging in lots of soul searching … questioning myself, my choices, where I am in life … all the things you ponder when you realize that you are, in fact, a middle-aged person.

But then last Friday, some of my dearest friends threw me an incredible cocktail party (thanks KB, Kim, Carol, Heather and Jeanne Marie!), and standing in a room full of amazing people, I had an AH-HA moment. It wasn’t that I was dreading 40. I was just sad about leaving an incredible decade behind.

I found myself in my 30s. I learned to trust my intuition. I became confident in my voice and my opinions. I married Dan. We traveled all over the world together. I went skydiving, and scuba diving, and I climbed the Sydney Harbor Bridge. I went to a SuperBowl and the World Series (when the Astros finally made it to the finals!). I took Dan dog sledding. We built a home together from the ground up. I became a mommy to two gorgeous little girls – a job I was never sure I would be good at, and then found I loved more than any other. I started blogging and met a new community of people through the love of writing. I finished college after many years of night school. I learned to appreciate all of the people in my life, by losing a few that I loved most. I discovered that I am always the same girl on the inside – just a little wiser and now a little older.

Standing in that room full of people that I have made true connections with over the years, helped me realize that the 40s will be even better than the 30s. It’s the same journey, but the fruit of my 30s – the friendships I have built along the way – will be going with me.

Kicking and screaming into middle age.

WTF? Wednesday

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With all the incredible magazines that have been closing their doors over the past few years, it’s nice to see that this one is still going strong. I haven’t had the chance to read “The Secret to a Successful Divorce” yet, but that seems like an inappropriate twist on the situation. Next month the feature story will be “The Secret to a Successful Release from Prison after your Bad Divorce.”

Maybe Bank of America should hire some of those unemployed magazine journalists as copyeditors, because clearly they need them! Check out this recent report they published. The headline is definitely captivating.

Dick's added and BJ's removed - I know there's a joke there.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

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Before I start ranting, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to Dan the man. Today is our 9th wedding anniversary and I’m really happy that he still loves me and thinks I’m hot. You rock, baby!

Next, I would like to say WTF WordPress? It took me a friggin week to figure out why I couldn’t upload pictures. Blogger is limited, but it’s way easy. I love my new site and theme, but getting out the kinks is quite time consuming. (And not as easy as all the WordPress lovers would have you believe.)

Okay, let’s move on to Jenn-Air.

Last Saturday night, I was home alone with the girls, and decided to make some tater tots to go with our dinner. When the timer buzzed, I went to open the oven door, and THE ENTIRE THING CAME OFF IN MY HAND.

Luckily I jump a lot faster than even I would have figured. I managed to get out of the way as the door, which was heated to 450 degrees, crashed to the floor. It sounded like a small explosion and sent glass flying everywhere.

Of course I was barefoot, and the girls were running around barefoot, so there was a total girly freakout next. Scarlett was crying, Anabella was repeatedly asking “what happened?!” and I was screaming at them to stay away. Once I walked through the pool of glass, and tried to figure out what to do with the steaming hot door, I realized just how f*cked up the whole situation was. Have you ever heard of this happening? WTF Jenn-Air? Really? The door just comes off? My mom has 30-year-old, total piece of crap oven in her house and its door has never just popped off. And did I mention all the little burning glass shards that left marks on my hands, feet, legs and chest. No bueno, Jenn-Air.

So now the “safety team” is deciding what to do. The company that repaired the hinges on the door in November under our extended warranty is claiming no fault, and Jenn-Air has only agreed to cover labor at this point (the parts are $600 of course). I can tell you this. There is no way in hell I am paying one penny.

This may be my biggest battle yet. Bigger than Poopgate of 2007! Stay tuned …

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

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WTF is up with this Creepy VegHead? He moved into our HEB last week and he totally freaks me out. I especially dislike his onion mustache and Anabella is disturbed by his banana cheeks (and the fact that he is a 10 foot paper mache head!). So we’ve starting using the other door until he goes back to wherever he came from.

Facebook WTF?!
I know I need to quit bashing FB, but this one is truly disturbing. A guy that apparently went to my high school sent a friend request last week. I didn’t recognize his name, but we had 27 friends in common, so I went to look at his profile photos. What I found was one photo of him and about 30 photos of women’s butts. Just women bent over in this position or that, all clothed, but pictures of their behinds only. (These were his PROFILE photos — not a photo album of butts.)

I too have certain body parts that I find attractive, but I don’t think FB is the place to post 50 pictures of men’s whatevers. I wanted to send him an email that said “This isn’t FetishBook, it’s Facebook, which means I want to see faces, not asses.” But I just ignored the request instead. And then I started thinking about those 27 people who were not at all bothered. Did they just accept without looking at his profile? I’m no prude, but am I really the only person who finds that creepier than a 10 foot paper mache head?

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

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It’s been a good week for WTF photos. I could probably publish a whole book on just WTF signs … and why do they always seem to be in bathrooms?

This sign comes from a fancy sushi restaurant:


So the question is — did someone really go to the most expensive sushi restaurant in town, head to the ladies room and decide to do pull-ups or something equally as stupid from this bar, and then break it/pull it out of the wall/crack their head open/or something equally as stupid? Because I don’t think you put up a sign like that “just in case.”


As I was shopping for Easter basket stuff this past weekend, I came across these. I know, it’s probably quite telling that my mind went straight to the gutter, but do these look really PHALLIC to anyone else?


It took me a full minute to put the whole ear of corn thing together. (Because I was totally mesmerized and didn’t bother to even read it. HA)

And finally, a WTF find from Sam’s Club. I haven’t bought any Boone’s Farm in over 20 years, but I am fairly certain it costs at least $3.00 a bottle. WTF kind of nasty wine only costs $2.91?

This entire week has been filled with WTF moments, but some of the most entertaining have been from the rodeo (I’m volunteering this year), so expect a recap next week. Rodeo WTF is a whole new ballgame, folks!

P.S. Totally forgot to congratulate my friend Kim on her BIG WIN at my 9th annual Oscar bash. She won the Golden Biatch by a landslide. The Biatch had some major “work” done this year, so she is looking hotter than ever, especially in her new dress holding her very own little Oscar statue. (And she’s completely recovered from her near death experience thanks to a certain Deucebag!) I’m sure Kim will put her in a place of honor for the next 12 months.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

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I recently reconnected with a friend from high school on Facebook, who had the interesting idea of telling people two things he remembered about them.

One of the things he recalled about me was my extreme resistance to putting stickers on my car. Apparently, I had my senior parking sticker on an acrylic picture frame that I would stand up in the window. (I have completely blocked out this memory, but it does sound like something I would do.) So obviously the OCD/car obsession thing started early, but it also explains why I find most bumper stickers really annoying. (But I still love you if you have them on your car!)

My biggest offenders are the “honor roll” kids, Calvin & Hobbs urinating on company logos and these — the “look at my cute family” stickers that keep getting weirder and weirder.

For example, WTF is this?
A pirate family? Why doesn’t daddy have a hat too? Where’s the parrot? Doesn’t this creep your kids out just a little bit?

“What’s that mommy?”

“That’s what you look like when you die.”

But this one is even better. I know I am confused, so I can only imagine how the kids must be feeling. Let’s see — there’s a daddy, a mommy … another daddy … four kids and two dogs.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am NOT signing up for the two spouse program.
P.S. Wondering what “WTF? Cat” Deucebag has been up to? Well, he has decided that it is too hard to just hang his head in the bowl to eat (while laying down), so now he knocks the bowl over and leisurely eats off the counter top.

“What the f*ck?” Wednesday

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(Note: This would have been posted on Wednesday if I had pushed “publish” instead of “save” – argh.)


WTF is up with my cat? Deuce (or Deucebag, as Scarlett calls him) isn’t even a year old, and he has already become a complete lazy ass. I took two photos so you would believe me when I tell you that this cat can’t be bothered to stand or even sit up to eat. He just lays on the counter and throws his head into the bowl.

Granted, this harsh judgement is coming from the woman who eats while watching The Biggest Loser, but still. I’m almost 40. Deucebag is in the prime of his life. By the time he’s 10, we will have to get the fire department to cut down a wall, so he can visit the vet.